48

hour 27 2/3: 10:40 am.

i feel fantastic. matcha powder in my banana mango smoothie i guess does wonders... so does sewing. anything involving fingers and working. and making a wicked awesome halloween costume. all other ideas have been mooooted. moooot. moot. clamato juice.

hour 39 3/4: 9:49ish pm.

i feel fantastic. super serious dance parties that travel from living room to kitchen to back porch to living room to front lawn = superfantastic. i am a teddy bear. with all modesty, of course. several times almost fading whilst driving make me appreciate legs and walking and alert conciousness. still going strong, still almost just past oh yes half way. we can do this, but not alone. all or nothing please. there is fuzz and fluff everywhere.

hour 42: 1:01 am.

i feel fantastic. disappearing for a time before anyone notices i had time to myself. its still glorious getting away from noise and being silent. glorious silence, immaculate reflection.

hour 44: 3:20 am.

i feel fantastic. at any point i could lay down my head and sleep for hours. maybe the hallucinations are worth it, maybe not. maybe i'm not doing nearly as good soooe (here is where i fell asleep for fractions of seconds typing.) similar to the split seconds i spent walking in another fleeting direction that my brain wanted... its no dice.



...............................................

dangit. that was definitely amazing. sleeping that is. failure, not so much, but i've got time...

72

hour 2: 9ish am.

i feel fantastic. ready to role. music is key, as well as Christ in me. (what? rhyme? no flippin way.) there's gonna be no winner, the only reward is sleep... the only fault is the need for sleep. i can't give a good reason why i'm doing this. bahhhh. sheep. my answer to your question is 'why not'. and legitmately so... if ever i was gonna do it, this's the time. no exams papers or presentations in the next days, i work at sbux, (half problem solved..) i have no children, or significant others to stay responsible too, its simply a test of my body, and if God takes care of it. i'm gonna avoid caffiene. fruit, juices and water. and the holy spirit. whoooo! sleep fasting. i'm gonna try to make this as spiritual as possible.

hour 10 1/2: 5:30 pm.

i feel fantastic. the day went by really fast. no signs of exhaustion or mental breakdown. this usually doesn't happen to me untill hour 30, so my pre-floaty excitement has to last for another 20 hours. oh well, i've got time. i've got time....

hour 19 1/2: 3:25 am.

i feel fantastic. jovial memories of enflamed red little boys who are really men dancing with two sleeves made into legs. blue angels. ketchup chips and halo. nipple rubbing with beard. weird, but so normal under the circumstances.
"your nipples are harder than my lips."
"yeah. they're freaking unbelievable."

hour 24 1/2: 7:32 am.

i feel fantastic. minus the knowledge of knowing i have to drive again soon... which wasn't a big deal, until i was alone and therefore screwed. even now.. i've done this so many times i don't know why this is hard. seems to me like the pros of sleeping outweigh the cons of not succeeding. but fruit i shall eat, praise to God i shall give, and pee lots i shall. bring it on day 2..

i need a map of your head

incubus is good music most of the time. like right now. whilst i am feeling at my utmost (not romantic... thats the wrong word because that has associations with doing work, which at the moment i am not feeling that way, because i am on the computer instead of painting.) longingful. i just want to run away with someone. run through sprinklers with someone. deface public property with someone, then run away from the cops with someone. but mostly i just want to have someone at the end of the day to chill with. one day.. till then i'm stockpiling ideas of how to knock her on her butt with romance. the longer she waits, the longer i have. muhaha. poetry anyone? no not now.

i need new headphones.

the sound of acceptance

did you know that Montreal is only 10ish hours from Detroit? i did not. i also did not know new york was 10ish hours from Detroit. all this time and i didn't know my road trip potential from Detroit. places i've gone from Detroit:

Calgary- obviously. 36 hours of not so bad scenery... once you hit Saskatchewan you can welcome boredom into your life.

Chicago- on the way to Calgary, as well as a few times separately for business. 5ish hours away. why this hasn't been milked more is beyond me.

Colorado Springs- a perilous journey when taken lightly. 20ish hours of suckitude, often Nebraska taking far too long because once your there, your THERE. all in flatness and boring for several hours.

Indiana (Taylor U, Purdue)- 4-6 hours of pleasant corn fields and the perfect drive to get to know someone. deeply. musically.

there are more, an fewer and far less talked about because its almost unnecessary (cedar point, timberwolf lake, where ever we ended up 9 hours away from whilst camping...). so it seems i've had some dang decent trips. but not bold enough. leaving anywhere from Michigan within 6 hours is a solid drive. (nothing like the rockies, but that's rare an awesome.) i need to step it up when i get home. take advantage of mid-eastern US potential. plus the huge trip there alone. i've never spent 36 hours in a car with myself.

places i must at least attempt:

Toronto- its only 4 hours away. i've flown through, but never been outside the airport.
Ottawa- why not.
obviously Montreal or new york.
Philadelphia- another why not.

maybe my wanderlust is spiked at the prospect of bein at home for a whole month. eeee. gas prices depending. i may just have to see some of the east.

bitter music on a glorious day. or reverse it.

i can take it either way, nothing makes it less...
settling for half of a picture and pronouncing it finished...
rice krispies that don't crackle...
symmetry...
cuddle fight...
$25 in the hole...

further re-dedication.

i have nothing to worry about,

yeah no i'm not ok yet

in response to recent events + the cereal i am eating, here are my current top ten peeves.  in no order, of course.

1.  whiney dogs.

2. oblong spoons that wouldn't fit in my mouth had i chosen one to transport food into my mouth.

3. demons who are asses.

4. slow fingers when guitar hero demands perfection.

5. sugary silt at the bottom of the bowl, preventing a smooth milk drinking experience.

6. discovering that you and yoo are pronounced the same way.

7. sinning.

8. extreme homesickness.

9. low memory or a poor internet connection.

10. wordly desire for wordly possessions and a lack of execution in spiritual discipline. 

an... things that just float my boat.

1. cats who like me and nobody else.

2. purring cats on my lap and nobody else's.

3. tattoos.

4. realizing who really means something to yoo.

5. not hating beer anymore, but having grapes in the mix to determine fruit wins over everything.

6. family that is only 3 hours away.

7. passion.  in everything.  

8. not karma, but a happening circumstance when a situation gets justice done unto it.  

9. cutoff scrubs as shorts.

10. lets go with... God, who lets me know that worrying is a lack of trust, therefore i have nothing to worry about.  ever.  

its new years eve

theres a tremendous boulder of waiting upon me