sittin here today at school.. dreaming.. creatively gallivanting myself through inspirational hallways.. wishing i had time to write down what i did this past week.. only to be brought down by the weight of an exam!! but now that horridness has come and gone (and gone HARD AS BALLS EXAM OH MY GOSH I WAS NOT NOT N O T PREPARED!!) and i'm back in my dream-like state, but without the production side of the dreaming. so now i'm going to productivity myself into writing down what i did. in exhaustive detail. not so much for you, but more so for me. because i must remember all that happens when i choose to leave responsibility and overdose on freedom. you may read or skim, but beware run away sentences, rants, and delightful profanity.
it all started one stressful tuesday afternoon. i had previously said that i wanted to leave at 6pm, which was foolhardy because just as predicted, i couldn't sleep the night before, and i had prematurely left school at 11am instead of the normal 5pm out of sheer excitement to the departure of 4 friends into the vastness of the land beneath us known as opportunity. we settled for a 2pm leaving time, which got pushed back to three, and with formulated lateness we departed at 4:30. carefree and willing to do whatever whenever however and with whoever (minus the nastybits of society)... we had prepared a play list in which 50 songs from each party were selected and tossed into the bath of musical diversity. we had jonny mah with his gangster-thug-rap'n-beats, seany harper with his alt. rockr'an b, me with my angsty (i just JUST saw an old man run swiftly down the hallway. let him forever be known as janitor: le speedy) diversification, and kristen with her twang (it must be noted, that having such a mess of different types of music opened me up to a lot of stuff i wouldn't of ever called 'good' before. the twang was addictive and empowering. the rap was... fantastic. alternative rock is rarely a bad thing, and r an b made me appreciate bass, beats, butts and damn good dance songs (however it must be equally noted that the band i most enjoyed was onerepublic... and their new album 'waking up'. someone told me it was just alright, so expecting as much i got my face kicked in with awesmosis)). it only lasted about 10 hours, then the respected driver would plug in his ipod with his respected genre and respectively rock out (to the pleasure or despise of the passengers). i started the drive, seany my co-pilot an kris'n jon in the back. it was said that two people were to be awake at all times, as we had four. this did not last very long. no, not at all. but that was no trouble ever, and allowed for shameless singing on my part without the distraction of being heard or dare i even think listened to. we headed straight south on the 2, which would later turn into the 15 that would take us all the way to a whales vagi- san diego. (side note for future tyler- lethbridge is 3 hours away. do not ever bet again that it is 2. you WILL lose, and you WILL owe seany beer.)
we hit the border some appropriate time later, and as i was still driving i took it upon myself to answer the cute border patrol girl's questions with resounding confidence and conviction. later it would be told to me we were a pinch close to getting searched because my confidence was portrayed as suspicious, and my conviction came off as an addiction to crack-cocaine. border responsibilities were forever stripped... regardless, nothing happened, and down we went. through montana, a smidge of idaho, utah, and with a destination las vegas in mind. we came out of the darkness finally in utah, a few hours from nevada and we were barraged with a constant visual beauty of mountains, red rocks and the beginnings of a desert. it was a glorious sight to wake up to, and many a picture was taken of something so beautiful as the surrounding area of the grand canyon (which we did not see, because it was out of our way... c'mon... we knew this (i didn't, and i was sad when i found out how close it kinda was)). we arrived in vegas around noonish and headed directly for the outlet malls, where rumor had it there was fantastic shopping, which was good news for all except the financially challenged (and materially dissident) me. but hey, good mall food, out doors, shoe oggling, after lunch coma's and bonding make for a pleasant afternoon. we headed back to the car and jon'n sean said we should nap it out before we went to meet with my lovely DTS friend john-mark. AGREED! my tired body told them. silly me, for not thinking to consider the game which me'n jonny had started (scaring each other, whilst capturing the moment on camera. i was winning at this point). after a few attempts and fails caused by my ignorant wandering and restlessness, i closed my eyes for 3 minutes before being shamefully woken up by screams and touching, camera in mah face! jonny forever won with that, and the video is the best we could provide. lllater you effing mall.
since we couldn't get a hold of john-mark, we headed straight away to the strip, looking for something to do in the meantime. the meantime turned out to be a solid 2 hours of wandering one of the most famous streets in the country, which was both 'as expected' and pleasantly surprising. we parked at ceasars and headed towards MGM so jon'n sean could gamble (jon had already lost $40 in 3 minutes at the roulette table, so he wanted some revenge against the house). on the way kris'n sean bought some pipes and tobacco and started a habit that will cause future all of us problems. i walked them into the area where they would later lose more money, regain their loss and both come out on top, all at the blackjack tables. but in my meantime, john-mark called me and we took off towards his home on the outskirts of vegas to turn on the hot tub, and eat some in'n out burger. 10 points for making my stomach love america. hours later we met up again with profitable jon, winning sean, and happy-drunk kris. we headed out to chipotle, where the candians got their fix for chain restaurant burritos, and then to JM's house for some hot tubbing and polar bear diving. after such events as small penises, curtain less showers, parental hellos chats and goodbyes, we exhaustedly headed out to a new sheesha bar JM knew and blew good smoke with weird flavors but evidently with happy times. being that there was little-no sleep for any of us the night before, midnight was an exhausting time and getting the move on to san diego seemed like a good idea. but not before two games of dollar bowling and shameful playing by all people involved. we headed out, vegased and dazed and jonny took the quiet saddle alone for SD.
after some back roads guided by mapquest, through the thickness of fog and sleep deprivation, we got to the mcdonalds house in vista. there were hugs, introductions, breakfasts and then beaches and frisbee, with an encore of naps. eventually the michigan crew came in and more hugs, more introductions were had and instant bonds were formed that wouldn't be broken until.. we left. that day was mostly pure freedom, and we went to more malls, then the whole crew went to spaghetti factory for dinner. afterwards at marine johns house, we watched 'state of play' (or 5/8ths of it for me) and then played halo for a good chunk of night, minus us sleepy sleepy canadians. it had been quite the day, and we hadn't had a proper sleep in two nights. we got up early (ish) the next morning and the canadians went to the san diego zoo while i went with the wedding party to the house where the wedding was being held to 'set up'. oh yes, this was the cruddy day, with no delegation of jobs, lots of questioningly sitting around, and confusion surrounding our presence there. but all was good because the house was BEAUTIFUL (pfft house. lets be honest, this was more a castle than a house) and many pictures were taken before at long last, the rehearsal began and we all aced our speeds and postures for the next day. we met up with the canadians and then all converged on scott's uncle's place where we had probably the best tasting meal of our lives, some good talks and introductions to the 'game' (the game is something invented by who knows, but passed on to us via kristin from DTS. the game was played hard and good, but forgotten about until las vegas when john-mark brought it up, and was once again started. this game, requires that if asked a question, any response given towards that question with the word 'mine' in it, do ten push ups for every 'mine' spoken. so far, since gullible and easily led on, i had done at least 70-100 without much revenge. scott was a powerful equalizer and brought me'n jon to comparable levels of quantity, though not soreness). the girls split off to their bachelorette party, while the men pushed out their chest hair for a night of pure manliness. we went to marine johns place and watched as chris challenged the marine to an airsoft fight. as we all hid in fear and wonder at the plastic apocalypse going on above our heads, john headed to his room and shut the door. we waited in moments of silence as no shots were fired from chris behind the couch, and john behind closed doors. it was tense, anxious and potentially story worthy. minutes later, the front door opened, and as scott was expected (yes, super late to his own bachelor party) instead we found a raised and cocked airsoft pistol, being fired into the hide of chris's unsuspecting back. MARINED! anyways that was probably the best moment of the 'party', as scott didn't get there until an hourish later when we had already fulfilled half of our hot tub tolerance level (with more polar bear diving into the cold pool). there was some throwing in, phone stealings, and eventually more halo, and that was that. some excitement transpired regarding the girls 'sexy' evening with lying texts and fake phone calls, leaving us in wonder at the trouble the girls had put the bride through (turns out they watched almost all of pocahontas, then fell asleep well before midnight. point one, MEN). my true highlight of the night was smoking a pipe with scott one on one, our only one on one moment of this entire trip.
ding dong ding, wedding day! we had some breakfast at a sweet local diner, and amidst congratulations from restaurant patrons and 'mine' push ups had some good morning man time before we headed out to finish setting up for the wedding (ps, let it be known that it rarely rains in SD, yet for some reason the forecast was a giant middle finger to anyone expecting sunshine and easy setting up. plastic, tents, wood planks over muddy grass... everything an outdoor wedding should be aye?!). eventually we decided we were done what we were doing and went to dress up, to the nines of CHAMPIONS. no tuxes, just argyle sweaters, bow ties and red converse. when i first heard this i giggled, but i tell you! we looked f***ing amazing (the stars in f***ing stand for *-unrealistic that we'd be looking this good at other times in life_*-can't believe the rest of us aren't getting married today we look this good_*-kudos to the colour brown, for giving all of us the potential to get any girl we wanted on this day with the right amount of confidence, since good looks wise, we WERE perfection. you see why i couldn't put this together with the 'f' meaning 'fuckin' as a verb to all the following). it was fun times gettin dressed and allowing vanity for once in my life. fun fun FUN F U N. jon'n sean looked pretty awesome too, as the night previous scott has asked them to be the valets fot the wedding, which was well received by both and gave them full participation points for coming down and hoping into some stranger's (now friends YAY) lives. we walked out in our processional order to the front, where all 17 of us stood (yes 17, 6 groomsmen (6), 6 bridesmaids (12), a bride and groom (14), pastor (15), and two flower girls (17)) waiting for the pastor to pronounce them man and wife, and give them literal (but metaphorical) keys to marriage like communication and selflessness. for me the coolest part was scotty going to see chachi before the wedding for 15 minutes so they could pray together... fully abolishing the tradition of not seeing the bride before she walks down, AND giving their marriage fully to Christ. so sweet. seeing them hold hands so... ferociously during the whole thing gave me the chills as they said i love you and kissed as man and wife for the first time. after that it was picture time and eatin candy time as we mingled all together before the reception. which was WHEN the real rain started coming down, and mid-meal we had to jettison our plates in favor of roofs that weren't made of plastic sheeting. it was alright and fun and chaos, and after we did some legal paperwork (a pox on the man and his paperwork... married in God's eyes and witnesses, screw the paper and the system!!!) the dance party started and so (legally, see papers) did the dancing. oh yeah, there was a speech too but it wasn't the bees knees and nobody cried, but everyone laughed as if on cue for a tv game show, and sparkling apple juice was consumed.
after the money dance (what?! you can do that? (oh yes, yes you can apparently. as long as you have pockets or bags pinned to your clothing, money dance away.)) the groomsmen (as preplanned by our lack of bachelor party) closed in on scott and started to party-boy away on his confused body and then swiftly picked him up and carried him over to the pool and lunged him and us in with him, with his bride running as us screaming 'noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo'. i still can't remember if we made sure his pockets were empty or not, but he got wet, we got wet, and so therefore the dance floor got SUPER wet. and muddy. go us and ruining the only thing that was moderately dry. eventually we dried off, the dancing didn't, but scott'n chachi headed out to their apartment with shouting chants of 'consummate! consummate!' to their departure, and the wedding was more or less a wrap. cleanup, leave, laundry, leave again- this time from the mcdonalds house, and out of vista and the lives of people i see every now and then (but which is always enjoyed beyond belief). kris had a real hard time saying g'bye to new michigan/cali friends, an sean'n jon received request after request for them to come visit again, both in michigan AND cali. it was a beautiful moment. hooray friend mixing! we headed out around midnight, and took off north.
i took firstsies again, and we were set on meeting up with my friend from DTS alicia in her town nipomo, a projected 6-8 hour drive from vista. this was easier said than done, because we were tired, and nobody could pull off more than a two hour shift of driving without hallucinating castles on the horizon or feeling like they were going to kill us all. we found a rest stop and fully napped for two hours (even though only one was planned) and moderately restored we headed another hour to nipomo where we had some lovely breakfast, conversation, pushups, and more leaving. our plan for the day was to end up in ashland oregon at about 4pm, to watch the superbowl with my friend nik. HOWEVER! mapquest is a damn dirty liar, and after 12 hours of traveling (a projected 14ish to ashland(and not necessarily driving, on our slow parts)) we were in san francisco at around 1:30. we decided it was literally impossible for us to make it to oregon by the time the superbowl started, so we milled about the golden gate bridge for awhile, then headed to sacramento where we found a hard rock cafe, which provided us with beer, expensive food, the superbowl, and more pushups, but with a total 4 hours of good solid rest. we took off ONCE MORE and ended up in ashland at around 11:30pm, where we could not get ahold of nik, and sadly departed an hour later without being able to see each other.
we had some pretty pleasant morning driving, as we went through such lovely states as oregon and washington, and while we only witnessed the beauty of portland from the highway and our car, we got out in seattle for a few hours to walk around and let jonny get some homework done (internet at starbucks WOO). i promised myself i would allow myself to live here one day, specifically if i lived on the floating houses in the bay, with the community warf where everyone had made their own tile and put them there in rows of pure communal AMAZINGNESS. kristen cried. sean bought fosters. jonny found out directions to a sport store. i looked at a house claiming to be pocessed by demonic chemicals. seattle was sweet. an hourish and a bit later we were upon the border again, with seany in the lead this time to handle the bombardment of questions from yet ANOTHER absolutely beautiful border patrol girl. no flaws this time (aside from my one jittery hand talking cocaine addicted answer) and passed we were, onwards to sean's sister's place in surrey. we had some WONDERFUL showers and cookies and our own airsoft battles (colin shot seany and jon in the forehead. it was awesome.) and cat scratches, then we joined the grandparents of the harpers for some pizza and wings. i ditched out pretty quick (plans y'know) to go pick up arby and head for tswassen to pick up marc so we could go chill with christa in downtown vancouver.
it was a glorious meeting after not having seen marc for over a year, and we hopped right back into our relationship riddled with quotes and giggles. we hooked up with christa at her apartment and i got to see tim rapske as well! which hadnt' happened since camping 3 years previous. good times good times. we decided drinks were in order, so we headed to the bar to have some beers and nachos, and all was good and well and dandy as we (pfft. they) shared stories of shame and triumph under the spell of alcohol.. soon the bar was littered with people our age but of more consumption, and this one girl outside walked into the big glass window thinking it was a door. stumbling backwards and laughing she apparently thought it was a good idea to try it again but this time stumbled or something and went head first THROUGH the window, sending glass everywhere in a giant smash and waterfall of shards and what should have been skin. she sat on the floor covered in glass giggling for a little bit (like a VERY little bit) while people helped her up in the resounding silence that was caused by the greatest witnessed moment in my bar career. my camera was out double quick before the shock wore off and it would be deemd inappropriate. lucky for the drunkee she wasn't cut up much beyond her knees, and everyone was asked to pay their bills and get a move on. we decided this was the night of the juggernaut (or to be referred to in the future as 'the midnight juggernaut). after such wondrous displays of drunken antics we headed back up to christas where me'n marc each got a trim of some hair, we watched some amazing prank video thanks to college humour, and me'n arby got on our way with some goodbyes.
we met back up with my canadian travelers at about 4am (who had been sleeping since 10ish (good on em)) and as we dropped arby off at trinity, headed on our last leg towards calgary. i was supposed to head off the first shift but since i had disabled my ability to make decisions by not even winking at sleep, i passed out in the back with jonny. hours upon hours later i still found myself in the back, in and out of sleep and cuddles, but determined to not get out of the car until we got back to calgary. it worked out well, i didn't drive once, leave the car at all, let alone the back seat, AND i got my final scare revenge on jonny. now i'm back athome and at school, and dreadfully miss sean jon an kris as we became so close through our constant proximity. the pushups have stopped (for now) as our guards for the dreaded question have been honed and pushed to perfected levels of resistence (just see our hesitation with ANY question you ask us regarding ownership), but our hearts haven't arrived back in calgary yet, and we have to deal with the residual effects of weeklong travel withdrawal. it'll be just good'n dandy eventually... til then, west coast. we'll see you very very soon. if you read this all, you're a freaking champion. i wrote for about 98 minutes, so i expect a solid read for ya'll. peace love and baby-adult Jesus.
