and a tie around my neck marks my new age of conformity...
i will have to compensate by wearing sweatpants for 3 weeks.
i have no beef with compensation.
Dec 29, 2008
i'm not crying...
and if i am crying... its because there's a friend of mine, who's dying, that's right dying. or maybe i've come across a problem i can only fix by changing myself... or perhaps because its 4am and i'm not all that tired and if i sleep its cuz its to pass time... or because 'its' isn't a word but i use it so very often... maybe if i hadn't of watched pearl harbor three seconds ago and witnessed the part where rafe says to danny 'your gonna be a daddy. i wasn't sposed to tell you..' an then danny goes 'no. you are' an then dies in rafes arms, then, then maybe i wouldn't be crying... some understanding on my families sake would make the tears flow less.. then again so would being less selfish and loving... crying a lot now because i'm thinking about calgary... but not crying actually no no because i'm going to NZ.. good thingsagonna happen there... i want to spill.
Dec 21, 2008
recipe for a good road trip.
ingredients:
-immense home/family sickness
-emily
-destination
-6 hours sleep (any less, you will die. (any more, you will also die.))
-little brother with magic sleep dust (one sprinkle and half hour of sleep will engage a solid 7 hour shift.)
-jedi powers
-a strong will to live.
instructions:
1) start your journey at 2 am, preferably after an exhausting night of several weepy goodbyes and a more perfect than perfect packing job.
2) put your junk in that box.
3) pretend you have more errands to run whilst still in the city and cherish was little time you have left.
4) venture into the darkness, expecting light flurries and rare traffic.
5) experience darkness, with suprising amount of traffic, and white knuckle conditions when passing large semi trucks.
6) continue for 5 hours.
7) pass on driving responsibility to the wee one, and use his special sleep dust to sleep soundly for 3-4 hours.
8) awaken with a thriving need to make the road 'your bitch'.
9) get made into a little girl by the road.
10) regain testosterone by driving with your nuts on the road, getting to the front of the line and not allowing stops for urination or food consumption.
11) get into trouble at the border because of suspicious little brother traveling activities. look suspicious because of your young age and probable association with marijuana.
12) strip search car.
13) flee with no reason to flee.
14) arrive in north dakota after 14 total hours of driving.
15) have dinner with grandparents of your fathers side.
16) drive to your mothers sisters house, enjoy some visiting and light tv watching and pass out at 8:30.
17) have the 2nd best sleep of your life and awaken after 8 hours to kick some road butt.
18) head towards the promise land of minnesota, rumoured to be better than ND.
19) enjoy the experience of realizing minnesota sucks just as much as ND, and revel in it for 11 hours of driving.
20) pass on responsibilities to the wee one, and again dose up on magic dust. (COCAINE!!!)
21) enjoy half hour of sleep, and 45 minutes of 45mph traffic in slush.
22) reach destination that was intended for instruction 19. eat arbys. but do not enjoy it.
23) regain driving responsibility, with renewed sense of wanting to be home and out of crappy driving weather.
24) make boasts of when you will be home. start off with the wee hours of morning, then get realistic when roads open up.
25) rub boast win into the face of the normally always correct wee one, and enjoy kicking 28 hours of driving in the face.
options to individualize recipe:
-music:
my top rated.
emery, and his sister, paramore
-ND speeding ticket for 10mph over limit, at $50.00. have a good day there, drive safe.
-mood swings
-mild hallucination/mindbending powers (use on road (bend to will))
-God
-possibly less stressful in the summertime.
-immense home/family sickness
-emily
-destination
-6 hours sleep (any less, you will die. (any more, you will also die.))
-little brother with magic sleep dust (one sprinkle and half hour of sleep will engage a solid 7 hour shift.)
-jedi powers
-a strong will to live.
instructions:
1) start your journey at 2 am, preferably after an exhausting night of several weepy goodbyes and a more perfect than perfect packing job.
2) put your junk in that box.
3) pretend you have more errands to run whilst still in the city and cherish was little time you have left.
4) venture into the darkness, expecting light flurries and rare traffic.
5) experience darkness, with suprising amount of traffic, and white knuckle conditions when passing large semi trucks.
6) continue for 5 hours.
7) pass on driving responsibility to the wee one, and use his special sleep dust to sleep soundly for 3-4 hours.
8) awaken with a thriving need to make the road 'your bitch'.
9) get made into a little girl by the road.
10) regain testosterone by driving with your nuts on the road, getting to the front of the line and not allowing stops for urination or food consumption.
11) get into trouble at the border because of suspicious little brother traveling activities. look suspicious because of your young age and probable association with marijuana.
12) strip search car.
13) flee with no reason to flee.
14) arrive in north dakota after 14 total hours of driving.
15) have dinner with grandparents of your fathers side.
16) drive to your mothers sisters house, enjoy some visiting and light tv watching and pass out at 8:30.
17) have the 2nd best sleep of your life and awaken after 8 hours to kick some road butt.
18) head towards the promise land of minnesota, rumoured to be better than ND.
19) enjoy the experience of realizing minnesota sucks just as much as ND, and revel in it for 11 hours of driving.
20) pass on responsibilities to the wee one, and again dose up on magic dust. (COCAINE!!!)
21) enjoy half hour of sleep, and 45 minutes of 45mph traffic in slush.
22) reach destination that was intended for instruction 19. eat arbys. but do not enjoy it.
23) regain driving responsibility, with renewed sense of wanting to be home and out of crappy driving weather.
24) make boasts of when you will be home. start off with the wee hours of morning, then get realistic when roads open up.
25) rub boast win into the face of the normally always correct wee one, and enjoy kicking 28 hours of driving in the face.
options to individualize recipe:
-music:
my top rated.
emery, and his sister, paramore
-ND speeding ticket for 10mph over limit, at $50.00. have a good day there, drive safe.
-mood swings
-mild hallucination/mindbending powers (use on road (bend to will))
-God
-possibly less stressful in the summertime.
Dec 17, 2008
tyler was
gonna write a huge imaginative blog describing his fear of not having his toothbrush whilst being whisked away onto a deserted island where attractive females probably roam. he instead wrote it as his facebook status. he was also gonna write about his fears of only having a few days left an not letting everyone know how much he will miss them, but how damn excited he is about getting to get out and do something different. but then he drank a beer and got quite sleepy. quite sleepy indeed... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz and in the morning his poor car emily was all fixed and better, having nothing been wrong with it in the first place, just a mild case of pre road trip jitters and shakes.
Dec 11, 2008
ramblings of a freed mind
do you ever get that feeling of dread, like walking down a hallway, except there is an impending darkness following you ever so closely you feel you have to run? that just happened, except it wasn't getting darker, and it was only a tall guy in a black hoodie behind me walking at the same pace. my mind cried rape though... i haven't ran out of sheer fear in at least... 2 months! it used to be a constant occasion when i'd be in a big empty building (lets say church) after an event (lets say church) and i'm the only one left and i forget my jacket behind.. so i must wander the childrens wing hallway in the darkness to find it. then something clicks in my head and i RUN to my jacket, sprint back to the doorway that leads to the actual darkness outside... makes me giggle when i picture myself bolting..
also, i am tall. i know this, because there is rarely an occasion when i get to see what the underside of someone's chin looks like. likewise for short people witnessing the dome of someones cranium. its a special day when the roles are reversed.
also, i am tall. i know this, because there is rarely an occasion when i get to see what the underside of someone's chin looks like. likewise for short people witnessing the dome of someones cranium. its a special day when the roles are reversed.
Dec 9, 2008
1455 word essay
-since my thought left me mid thought, i thought i'd update you on my thoughts-
after an effective 2 hour time kill between coming home eating supper and chatting up my roomies, setting up a playlist including the shins, radiohead, dispatch and emery, i opened up the books and sat down to write the rest of my essay. 3 sentences in and after a long quote, i ventured upstairs for a potential milk based food. dangerously i ran into my roomates again, who were about to watch the dark knight, fresh, virgin unwatched dvd out that day. 3 hours and wishes for crime fighting skills later, the essay was returned to. approximately 502ish words were added to the babble before a laundry buzzer interfered with the ferocious thoughts that were echoing off my fingers and into the computer screen. those words are dancing for me this time. BS will commence shortly, when information runs dry and motivation to succeed diminish into longings for sleep.
Academic Bulemia
The process of learning or memorizing by rote, subsequently followed by the regurgitation of that knowledge onto an exam answer sheet. Just as with the serious eating disorder, this form of bulemia results in no real retention of substance.
i got slapped in the face by the truth of this. i had been thinking this all day (since today was a final exam (and all mid term..s)) but i couldn't articulate it, and so urban dictionary did it for me. such truth. who the F is Joseph Kosuth? (if you can actually tell me without google or wiki then... props, you have my artisticalknowledgeable respect. (and maybe a popsicle if you come to ze goin away party)).
i am also writing and using the word genuine a lot. i asked U-DIC to tell me what awesomeness it could hold, but it was boring (motions hand very innapropriately and tosses off imaginary finishings.)
after an effective 2 hour time kill between coming home eating supper and chatting up my roomies, setting up a playlist including the shins, radiohead, dispatch and emery, i opened up the books and sat down to write the rest of my essay. 3 sentences in and after a long quote, i ventured upstairs for a potential milk based food. dangerously i ran into my roomates again, who were about to watch the dark knight, fresh, virgin unwatched dvd out that day. 3 hours and wishes for crime fighting skills later, the essay was returned to. approximately 502ish words were added to the babble before a laundry buzzer interfered with the ferocious thoughts that were echoing off my fingers and into the computer screen. those words are dancing for me this time. BS will commence shortly, when information runs dry and motivation to succeed diminish into longings for sleep.
Academic Bulemia
The process of learning or memorizing by rote, subsequently followed by the regurgitation of that knowledge onto an exam answer sheet. Just as with the serious eating disorder, this form of bulemia results in no real retention of substance.
i got slapped in the face by the truth of this. i had been thinking this all day (since today was a final exam (and all mid term..s)) but i couldn't articulate it, and so urban dictionary did it for me. such truth. who the F is Joseph Kosuth? (if you can actually tell me without google or wiki then... props, you have my artisticalknowledgeable respect. (and maybe a popsicle if you come to ze goin away party)).
i am also writing and using the word genuine a lot. i asked U-DIC to tell me what awesomeness it could hold, but it was boring (motions hand very innapropriately and tosses off imaginary finishings.)
Dec 6, 2008
won't you break free?
please yes lets. no structure or boundary can contain what we hold. not one consequence will damper the experience we will have. we cannot be owned, and we'll always have what we did as a reminder that we are free.
Dec 5, 2008
there are 129 other things i reaaaally should be doing.
i'd list them all, but that only conquer my boredom, and in the process create more boredom therefore throwing off the balance of the boredom spectrum to unstable (ly) boring. like... looking out a window on a not so snowy day at the boring grey sky with nothing happening boring.
i had an energy drink. it cranked me up. music couldn't be loud enough, and i didn't have the attention span to notice green lights or remember a balance to deposit into the bank 3 seconds after i looked at it. it was something i haven't experienced in months... a chemical imbalanced imposed upon myself so i wouldn't die whilst driving with sort of little sleep and at night with poor slippery road conditions.. it was well worth it. i sang so much i didn't notice my own voice creak and moan in protest to the volume i was projecting to keep up with the noise coming from my speakers.. my brain just wanted to melt into music and become one for a moment, and then ease back out of it only to be brought right back into it with another sonic blast of amazingness. i arrived early to my destination, but still to jacked up on green crap i ventured back out to run some errands, as sherwood park has become home 3 for me, since i come up often enough to know where the hockey rink is, the bank, starbucks, 2 second cups, mall and movie theatre, staples, home depot, (clearly i'm just listing observations i have about baseline now... game set match brain!) the point is i've become familiar with another place, an it now becomes less interesting because nothing new is expected. its just the way it is, and i live with it. detroit was vast and new and interesting once, but now you could drop me off (k not detroit, but the whiter, more grid like grosse pointe) anywhere an i could probably get back without thinking. not like thats all that hard to navigate if i know where north is, anywhere, but my man senses don't tingle anymore when i get 'lost' in sherparkwood. muha.ha. ha.
that makes me super excited to get to new zealand. brand spanking new. everything. continent, country, city, culture, another c word that i won't say because it has no relevance (and it is NOT dirty and it doesn't rhyme with punt. you flipping pervert you.) it was candle ok? new candle. flip yes. i'll get to explore.. get lost... soon enough it'll become 'home' and i'll know my way around, but i guess instead of getting frustrated that i'm now geographically one with a place i should appreciate knowing more than one place... i'm mapping out the world one place at a time in my head. the roads in between will take my places i won't remember, but i'll still know i travelled them.
then comes the crash and definitely no burn this time. far too much to look forward too and far too much cherishing to do. tucker has no hair anymore. i haven't seen the cat. nor the family... but their presence is here and it feels very much like home. family is everything, and if i didn't have it everywhere i go, i'd go nowhere and i'd go crazy. its not an obligation to see blood family, i thoroughly enjoy them. love them. would die for them. but its the new family that i create, get to know, learn to love that appeals to me so much. my roomates are my family. jef too jeff and everyone in between are family. if i've known someone long enough to gain trust and respect then they become family. nothing else matters! i'm feeling sentimental and feel for people who don't have the family i do.. i wish so badly that they did. i'll make sure i love my family for as long as i can.
Dec 1, 2008
my jug of water is 5/7 full
and the other 2? full of LIFE minusthefearofdriving36hoursalone... that will SUCK.
Nov 26, 2008
my boys an the music they make
here. i don't care if you don't enjoy, but especially if you do enjoy, lets spread them like herpes.
http://www.myspace.com/thecommencement
copy.. paste... people who read will go.. an learn.. discover.. then spread more! use the system!
http://www.myspace.com/thecommencement
copy.. paste... people who read will go.. an learn.. discover.. then spread more! use the system!
a FB note wouldn't do right now.
he's got red on him, and i see it, and now its on me too. (oh yes, its a miss off.)
i haven't any complaints about my current roommates.. i love them very much. i do however miss marc. a lot. he called today, and it scared me cuz i didn't realize how much i missed him until i heard his voice. threw me on a good loop. taken aback? oh yes i was. i scored 3 goals for you marc. i miss losing arguments... i don't learn anything when i win. or if i don't have any. and i justify things in my head by letting them stay unexposed and thriving wildly in the darkness. i miss the lack of tv... movies won over everything, and if not movies... the hour would always suffice well enough to pass us into sleep worthy mental awareness. oh strombo... i miss damn good high fives. i can't wait for the 100+ hours he's in calgary and there will be freedom to do so much... and we'll do so little cuz thats all it takes. i also miss marc's insomnia, cuz if i were to wake up at 5 am an have a conversation, i could just see if he's watching college humour videos or not. sleep wasn't a necessity in our home...
i miss michigan. i miss complaining about it when i'm there, but actually loving it. i dont' just soso michigan, i have a heart for it and if i don't get my fill soon (which i will) mebe i'll just go punch dance it out in the woods. i miss my parents yelling at me for not being in bed at 4 am. i miss them moving on from yelling to accepting sighs of worry and mild intrigue. i also miss scaring my mom whenever she walks into a new room then having her try to avenge her fright only to be scared by me again. i miss my bed. i miss vacuuming every 2 days because nobody takes off their shoes in michigan. i miss saying 'hey, lets not go to detroit, and live a good 30- 50 years longer' even though i really do want to go to detroit.
i miss my BROTHERS. i have nobody to fight with. only bros can deliver that satisfaction. i don't have that blood bond with anyone else i know (good.. scientific reason for that... marc an jef come dang close though.) (so do a few others-) but nobody like eric and david. they are so different from me but as hochhalters we are also all so similar.. we all have awful luck with girls, we all have brat streaks, we all have the ability to make people smile... but mostly we all have awful luck with girls. just awful.
i'm going to miss calgary and everything contained in calgary.. and by everything i mean everyone, because 'things' mean far less to me now then they ever have. i am excited for the future. i want a girl. i want to be wreckless with career choices and have it work out in my favour, in an exciting way, preferably involving a car chase or heist or something of that nature. if we can throw fire in there somewhere, that'd be pretty sweet. i want... some effing frisbee. i want to get to know girl A better, an eventually get to the point of droppin L bombs upon one another. i don't even know her at all, and i think thats the best part. girl A can so easily be transfered into girl B or C or Z. but every guy knows girl A is the best choice.
i can't sleep. biologically, i blame myself for not waking up until half past noon... emotionally, i blame being 'missy' about absolutely everything and 'wanty' about everything else... mentally, i blame le soupy brain and fixation upon the ideal future. babies i say. there is so much in between, but dang! babies will be fun as everything. i've clearly deviated away from things i miss into things i want... i think i'm ok with that. i haven't just typed what i've been feeling in some time. like. 4-5 days. IF that was what i was feeling... yes. yes it was. not once have i mentioned NZ. that takes up about 84 percent of my mental activity these days. soo much exciting uncertainty.. new habitat... unnnnnnnnnggggggh i'm so excited.
i miss my cat. so much.
i haven't any complaints about my current roommates.. i love them very much. i do however miss marc. a lot. he called today, and it scared me cuz i didn't realize how much i missed him until i heard his voice. threw me on a good loop. taken aback? oh yes i was. i scored 3 goals for you marc. i miss losing arguments... i don't learn anything when i win. or if i don't have any. and i justify things in my head by letting them stay unexposed and thriving wildly in the darkness. i miss the lack of tv... movies won over everything, and if not movies... the hour would always suffice well enough to pass us into sleep worthy mental awareness. oh strombo... i miss damn good high fives. i can't wait for the 100+ hours he's in calgary and there will be freedom to do so much... and we'll do so little cuz thats all it takes. i also miss marc's insomnia, cuz if i were to wake up at 5 am an have a conversation, i could just see if he's watching college humour videos or not. sleep wasn't a necessity in our home...
i miss michigan. i miss complaining about it when i'm there, but actually loving it. i dont' just soso michigan, i have a heart for it and if i don't get my fill soon (which i will) mebe i'll just go punch dance it out in the woods. i miss my parents yelling at me for not being in bed at 4 am. i miss them moving on from yelling to accepting sighs of worry and mild intrigue. i also miss scaring my mom whenever she walks into a new room then having her try to avenge her fright only to be scared by me again. i miss my bed. i miss vacuuming every 2 days because nobody takes off their shoes in michigan. i miss saying 'hey, lets not go to detroit, and live a good 30- 50 years longer' even though i really do want to go to detroit.
i miss my BROTHERS. i have nobody to fight with. only bros can deliver that satisfaction. i don't have that blood bond with anyone else i know (good.. scientific reason for that... marc an jef come dang close though.) (so do a few others-) but nobody like eric and david. they are so different from me but as hochhalters we are also all so similar.. we all have awful luck with girls, we all have brat streaks, we all have the ability to make people smile... but mostly we all have awful luck with girls. just awful.
i'm going to miss calgary and everything contained in calgary.. and by everything i mean everyone, because 'things' mean far less to me now then they ever have. i am excited for the future. i want a girl. i want to be wreckless with career choices and have it work out in my favour, in an exciting way, preferably involving a car chase or heist or something of that nature. if we can throw fire in there somewhere, that'd be pretty sweet. i want... some effing frisbee. i want to get to know girl A better, an eventually get to the point of droppin L bombs upon one another. i don't even know her at all, and i think thats the best part. girl A can so easily be transfered into girl B or C or Z. but every guy knows girl A is the best choice.
i can't sleep. biologically, i blame myself for not waking up until half past noon... emotionally, i blame being 'missy' about absolutely everything and 'wanty' about everything else... mentally, i blame le soupy brain and fixation upon the ideal future. babies i say. there is so much in between, but dang! babies will be fun as everything. i've clearly deviated away from things i miss into things i want... i think i'm ok with that. i haven't just typed what i've been feeling in some time. like. 4-5 days. IF that was what i was feeling... yes. yes it was. not once have i mentioned NZ. that takes up about 84 percent of my mental activity these days. soo much exciting uncertainty.. new habitat... unnnnnnnnnggggggh i'm so excited.
i miss my cat. so much.
Nov 21, 2008
today has been a day of thinking
there are several things i've discovered i want at this point.
i really really want to fight someone. not necessarily an intense 'yo bitch, get off my toes!' fight, cuz thats too confrontational and nothing gets solved (though if it were some punkass dissin my bros, i'd step into fisticuffs with no issue! (in my head i'm a badass wigger (but really i just am not))) BUT a good solid tussle that leaves both combatants lying on the ground breathless with big ass smiles. and BRUISES and sore muscles that last for awhile and make you think of how good a fight it was when it takes 3 minutes to stand up. thats possibly the gayest sounding thing i've ever written, but i don't care. i haven't fought in ages. someone, step up.
i want a monkey. but only for a day.
i want to be done at starbucks. i ranted at marc over my letter about why i hate christmas starbucks. and why christmas starbucks sucks. i hate SO MUCH of what starbucks becomes at christmas... in f***ing november! it makes me bitter to the core. overworking christmas should be a sin. drinks that are the exact same but have a different name so it becomes novelty... f***ing sick. fuck. (i'm done censoring.) i hate starbucks.
i want to be in school forever. it is way to much fun, and i learn so much, and i get to chill with really awesome people. graduation is scary as hell, and its still one year and one half and plus away.
i want ice. there has to be at least 3 weeks of consistantly cold weather so i can get my hockey on. i'm sick of this global warmth thats killing my play time. it either has to be cold enough for hockey, or warm enough for frisbee and soccer. dang i love sports... so so much..
i really really want to fight someone. not necessarily an intense 'yo bitch, get off my toes!' fight, cuz thats too confrontational and nothing gets solved (though if it were some punkass dissin my bros, i'd step into fisticuffs with no issue! (in my head i'm a badass wigger (but really i just am not))) BUT a good solid tussle that leaves both combatants lying on the ground breathless with big ass smiles. and BRUISES and sore muscles that last for awhile and make you think of how good a fight it was when it takes 3 minutes to stand up. thats possibly the gayest sounding thing i've ever written, but i don't care. i haven't fought in ages. someone, step up.
i want a monkey. but only for a day.
i want to be done at starbucks. i ranted at marc over my letter about why i hate christmas starbucks. and why christmas starbucks sucks. i hate SO MUCH of what starbucks becomes at christmas... in f***ing november! it makes me bitter to the core. overworking christmas should be a sin. drinks that are the exact same but have a different name so it becomes novelty... f***ing sick. fuck. (i'm done censoring.) i hate starbucks.
i want to be in school forever. it is way to much fun, and i learn so much, and i get to chill with really awesome people. graduation is scary as hell, and its still one year and one half and plus away.
i want ice. there has to be at least 3 weeks of consistantly cold weather so i can get my hockey on. i'm sick of this global warmth thats killing my play time. it either has to be cold enough for hockey, or warm enough for frisbee and soccer. dang i love sports... so so much..
Nov 13, 2008
portraits and brothers
there are lots of tiny sarcastic hopeful smiley faces peppered accross the message board.
Nov 12, 2008
to end
-milk
-cereal
-rice- NO WAIT! colin and you share together in a rice bond now.
-eggs
-yogurt- for oatmeal
-oatmeal- for yogurt AND breakfast
-raspberries- for oatmeal and yogurt
-bread
-more milk
-fruit- for replenishing my empty soul. (eg: apples, mebe some christmas oranges)
-future milk
-shampoo?
-wife
-juice.
guest starring, we have rhythm
but no rhyme! there's an ice cube on a sleeping jef miller's forehead. courtesy of the freezer and my hand. so much of life is pre-determined by our own audacious desires.. if only we could get along so well with our needs. with just as much justified boldness. why is jef miller so exhausted? not even a full hail to the thief.
Nov 9, 2008
a plausible conversation
sometimes me'n the brain discuss things. sometimes its irrational like
'hey, you don't respect me!'
'hey, you don't deserve respect!'
and sometimes, its deep and intellectual like
'hey, i think that the state of the worlds sobriety is in jeopardy because of your ignorance to flailing tastebuds'
'hey, you should shut your face and enjoy something that lets you rest while i'm awake!'
irrationality is no buzz. but you know what is? thinking about the future and having a future that is totally and completely uncertain. but isn't all future uncertain? were not bound by any absolute law that says what we expect to happen will happen. i could spontaneously combust at any second and all my 'plans' would be burnt along with my body. unlikely, but entirely within the realm of possibility! all i can do is trust in my God to deliver something that will keep me out of the range of mediocrity that i so fear getting engulfed in. i need to know that if i ever start living solely for myself i'll get smacked so hard into reality that i won't have a choice to disobey. right now its getting back to that state.. i was unsure, then i asked and direction was given. now that direction is still there, but the absoluteness is gone. nothing is sound. but everything is still beautiful.. fancy that i now have no dilemma.
Nov 7, 2008
the things my brain can't handle.
here it comes now! colliiiiiiiide (high five david crowder!)
the awesomeness of weekend freedom is something my brain can't handle. its too exciting. if i wasn't exhausted yesterday i'd have not slept in protest to my emotions raging for excitement. not even that this weekend will be immensely exciting (minus the scary tower of slides i must slide down... by force!) its gonna be so much chill.. that i have not had since, well i'm thinking BV. vancouver an radiohead had lots of chill, but to THIS level, i've gotta relate it back to colorado. just wandering around a town.. discin whenever we wanted.. car naps.. that also had peak excitment with running water. the thing is we only get these rare moments to rest an be with each other in the same instant, i'm forced to long for them and appreciate them as much as possible. even if we just watch movies for 4 days straight, being together, not stressing about anything, will be such a good break from the chaos of school and work. and the best part is i'm not even heading back into stress when i come back...(pat on my own back for actually finishing an essay a full 6 days before due date! WOO!) yeah. super pumped. so celebrate, i list what i feel would be good road trip music, but probly won't even get listened too.
guster
the entire accross the universe soundtrack
mas guster
dispatch AT LENGTH
if we hit a deer or something, mebe some matt good (he brings me sorrow in glorious ways)
laura is driving so driver rules, an i'm gonna guess NO! i KNOW we are going to listen to at least one song by:
the epic celine dion
the sir elton
and... probs some kelly clarkson. its probable.
i'm not planning on sleeping, but i'm not in charge of that. my bodily disfunction when i'm not driving is an immediate dependency on sleep. i can't control it, but i must abide to it. so, no planning on sleeping, but that level of time travel is always excitable to me when i'm not large an in charge. thunderbirds are GO!
the awesomeness of weekend freedom is something my brain can't handle. its too exciting. if i wasn't exhausted yesterday i'd have not slept in protest to my emotions raging for excitement. not even that this weekend will be immensely exciting (minus the scary tower of slides i must slide down... by force!) its gonna be so much chill.. that i have not had since, well i'm thinking BV. vancouver an radiohead had lots of chill, but to THIS level, i've gotta relate it back to colorado. just wandering around a town.. discin whenever we wanted.. car naps.. that also had peak excitment with running water. the thing is we only get these rare moments to rest an be with each other in the same instant, i'm forced to long for them and appreciate them as much as possible. even if we just watch movies for 4 days straight, being together, not stressing about anything, will be such a good break from the chaos of school and work. and the best part is i'm not even heading back into stress when i come back...(pat on my own back for actually finishing an essay a full 6 days before due date! WOO!) yeah. super pumped. so celebrate, i list what i feel would be good road trip music, but probly won't even get listened too.
guster
the entire accross the universe soundtrack
mas guster
dispatch AT LENGTH
if we hit a deer or something, mebe some matt good (he brings me sorrow in glorious ways)
laura is driving so driver rules, an i'm gonna guess NO! i KNOW we are going to listen to at least one song by:
the epic celine dion
the sir elton
and... probs some kelly clarkson. its probable.
i'm not planning on sleeping, but i'm not in charge of that. my bodily disfunction when i'm not driving is an immediate dependency on sleep. i can't control it, but i must abide to it. so, no planning on sleeping, but that level of time travel is always excitable to me when i'm not large an in charge. thunderbirds are GO!
Nov 5, 2008
sometimes it's best to walk away
aba ba baaaa ba ba baaaa ba ba baaaa aa aaa aaaaaaa
mmm yeah hit it florez
mmm yeah hit it florez
Oct 31, 2008
48
hour 27 2/3: 10:40 am.
i feel fantastic. matcha powder in my banana mango smoothie i guess does wonders... so does sewing. anything involving fingers and working. and making a wicked awesome halloween costume. all other ideas have been mooooted. moooot. moot. clamato juice.
hour 39 3/4: 9:49ish pm.
i feel fantastic. super serious dance parties that travel from living room to kitchen to back porch to living room to front lawn = superfantastic. i am a teddy bear. with all modesty, of course. several times almost fading whilst driving make me appreciate legs and walking and alert conciousness. still going strong, still almost just past oh yes half way. we can do this, but not alone. all or nothing please. there is fuzz and fluff everywhere.
hour 42: 1:01 am.
i feel fantastic. disappearing for a time before anyone notices i had time to myself. its still glorious getting away from noise and being silent. glorious silence, immaculate reflection.
hour 44: 3:20 am.
i feel fantastic. at any point i could lay down my head and sleep for hours. maybe the hallucinations are worth it, maybe not. maybe i'm not doing nearly as good soooe (here is where i fell asleep for fractions of seconds typing.) similar to the split seconds i spent walking in another fleeting direction that my brain wanted... its no dice.
...............................................
dangit. that was definitely amazing. sleeping that is. failure, not so much, but i've got time...
i feel fantastic. matcha powder in my banana mango smoothie i guess does wonders... so does sewing. anything involving fingers and working. and making a wicked awesome halloween costume. all other ideas have been mooooted. moooot. moot. clamato juice.
hour 39 3/4: 9:49ish pm.
i feel fantastic. super serious dance parties that travel from living room to kitchen to back porch to living room to front lawn = superfantastic. i am a teddy bear. with all modesty, of course. several times almost fading whilst driving make me appreciate legs and walking and alert conciousness. still going strong, still almost just past oh yes half way. we can do this, but not alone. all or nothing please. there is fuzz and fluff everywhere.
hour 42: 1:01 am.
i feel fantastic. disappearing for a time before anyone notices i had time to myself. its still glorious getting away from noise and being silent. glorious silence, immaculate reflection.
hour 44: 3:20 am.
i feel fantastic. at any point i could lay down my head and sleep for hours. maybe the hallucinations are worth it, maybe not. maybe i'm not doing nearly as good soooe (here is where i fell asleep for fractions of seconds typing.) similar to the split seconds i spent walking in another fleeting direction that my brain wanted... its no dice.
...............................................
dangit. that was definitely amazing. sleeping that is. failure, not so much, but i've got time...
Oct 30, 2008
72
hour 2: 9ish am.
i feel fantastic. ready to role. music is key, as well as Christ in me. (what? rhyme? no flippin way.) there's gonna be no winner, the only reward is sleep... the only fault is the need for sleep. i can't give a good reason why i'm doing this. bahhhh. sheep. my answer to your question is 'why not'. and legitmately so... if ever i was gonna do it, this's the time. no exams papers or presentations in the next days, i work at sbux, (half problem solved..) i have no children, or significant others to stay responsible too, its simply a test of my body, and if God takes care of it. i'm gonna avoid caffiene. fruit, juices and water. and the holy spirit. whoooo! sleep fasting. i'm gonna try to make this as spiritual as possible.
hour 10 1/2: 5:30 pm.
i feel fantastic. the day went by really fast. no signs of exhaustion or mental breakdown. this usually doesn't happen to me untill hour 30, so my pre-floaty excitement has to last for another 20 hours. oh well, i've got time. i've got time....
hour 19 1/2: 3:25 am.
i feel fantastic. jovial memories of enflamed red little boys who are really men dancing with two sleeves made into legs. blue angels. ketchup chips and halo. nipple rubbing with beard. weird, but so normal under the circumstances.
"your nipples are harder than my lips."
"yeah. they're freaking unbelievable."
hour 24 1/2: 7:32 am.
i feel fantastic. minus the knowledge of knowing i have to drive again soon... which wasn't a big deal, until i was alone and therefore screwed. even now.. i've done this so many times i don't know why this is hard. seems to me like the pros of sleeping outweigh the cons of not succeeding. but fruit i shall eat, praise to God i shall give, and pee lots i shall. bring it on day 2..
hour 19 1/2: 3:25 am.
i feel fantastic. jovial memories of enflamed red little boys who are really men dancing with two sleeves made into legs. blue angels. ketchup chips and halo. nipple rubbing with beard. weird, but so normal under the circumstances.
"your nipples are harder than my lips."
"yeah. they're freaking unbelievable."
hour 24 1/2: 7:32 am.
i feel fantastic. minus the knowledge of knowing i have to drive again soon... which wasn't a big deal, until i was alone and therefore screwed. even now.. i've done this so many times i don't know why this is hard. seems to me like the pros of sleeping outweigh the cons of not succeeding. but fruit i shall eat, praise to God i shall give, and pee lots i shall. bring it on day 2..
Oct 28, 2008
i need a map of your head
incubus is good music most of the time. like right now. whilst i am feeling at my utmost (not romantic... thats the wrong word because that has associations with doing work, which at the moment i am not feeling that way, because i am on the computer instead of painting.) longingful. i just want to run away with someone. run through sprinklers with someone. deface public property with someone, then run away from the cops with someone. but mostly i just want to have someone at the end of the day to chill with. one day.. till then i'm stockpiling ideas of how to knock her on her butt with romance. the longer she waits, the longer i have. muhaha. poetry anyone? no not now.
i need new headphones.
i need new headphones.
Oct 14, 2008
the sound of acceptance
did you know that Montreal is only 10ish hours from Detroit? i did not. i also did not know new york was 10ish hours from Detroit. all this time and i didn't know my road trip potential from Detroit. places i've gone from Detroit:
Calgary- obviously. 36 hours of not so bad scenery... once you hit Saskatchewan you can welcome boredom into your life.
Chicago- on the way to Calgary, as well as a few times separately for business. 5ish hours away. why this hasn't been milked more is beyond me.
Colorado Springs- a perilous journey when taken lightly. 20ish hours of suckitude, often Nebraska taking far too long because once your there, your THERE. all in flatness and boring for several hours.
Indiana (Taylor U, Purdue)- 4-6 hours of pleasant corn fields and the perfect drive to get to know someone. deeply. musically.
there are more, an fewer and far less talked about because its almost unnecessary (cedar point, timberwolf lake, where ever we ended up 9 hours away from whilst camping...). so it seems i've had some dang decent trips. but not bold enough. leaving anywhere from Michigan within 6 hours is a solid drive. (nothing like the rockies, but that's rare an awesome.) i need to step it up when i get home. take advantage of mid-eastern US potential. plus the huge trip there alone. i've never spent 36 hours in a car with myself.
places i must at least attempt:
Toronto- its only 4 hours away. i've flown through, but never been outside the airport.
Ottawa- why not.
obviously Montreal or new york.
Philadelphia- another why not.
maybe my wanderlust is spiked at the prospect of bein at home for a whole month. eeee. gas prices depending. i may just have to see some of the east.
Calgary- obviously. 36 hours of not so bad scenery... once you hit Saskatchewan you can welcome boredom into your life.
Chicago- on the way to Calgary, as well as a few times separately for business. 5ish hours away. why this hasn't been milked more is beyond me.
Colorado Springs- a perilous journey when taken lightly. 20ish hours of suckitude, often Nebraska taking far too long because once your there, your THERE. all in flatness and boring for several hours.
Indiana (Taylor U, Purdue)- 4-6 hours of pleasant corn fields and the perfect drive to get to know someone. deeply. musically.
there are more, an fewer and far less talked about because its almost unnecessary (cedar point, timberwolf lake, where ever we ended up 9 hours away from whilst camping...). so it seems i've had some dang decent trips. but not bold enough. leaving anywhere from Michigan within 6 hours is a solid drive. (nothing like the rockies, but that's rare an awesome.) i need to step it up when i get home. take advantage of mid-eastern US potential. plus the huge trip there alone. i've never spent 36 hours in a car with myself.
places i must at least attempt:
Toronto- its only 4 hours away. i've flown through, but never been outside the airport.
Ottawa- why not.
obviously Montreal or new york.
Philadelphia- another why not.
maybe my wanderlust is spiked at the prospect of bein at home for a whole month. eeee. gas prices depending. i may just have to see some of the east.
bitter music on a glorious day. or reverse it.
i can take it either way, nothing makes it less...
settling for half of a picture and pronouncing it finished...
rice krispies that don't crackle...
symmetry...
cuddle fight...
$25 in the hole...
further re-dedication.
i have nothing to worry about,
settling for half of a picture and pronouncing it finished...
rice krispies that don't crackle...
symmetry...
cuddle fight...
$25 in the hole...
further re-dedication.
i have nothing to worry about,
Oct 12, 2008
yeah no i'm not ok yet
in response to recent events + the cereal i am eating, here are my current top ten peeves. in no order, of course.
1. whiney dogs.
2. oblong spoons that wouldn't fit in my mouth had i chosen one to transport food into my mouth.
3. demons who are asses.
4. slow fingers when guitar hero demands perfection.
5. sugary silt at the bottom of the bowl, preventing a smooth milk drinking experience.
6. discovering that you and yoo are pronounced the same way.
7. sinning.
8. extreme homesickness.
9. low memory or a poor internet connection.
10. wordly desire for wordly possessions and a lack of execution in spiritual discipline.
an... things that just float my boat.
1. cats who like me and nobody else.
2. purring cats on my lap and nobody else's.
3. tattoos.
4. realizing who really means something to yoo.
5. not hating beer anymore, but having grapes in the mix to determine fruit wins over everything.
6. family that is only 3 hours away.
7. passion. in everything.
8. not karma, but a happening circumstance when a situation gets justice done unto it.
9. cutoff scrubs as shorts.
10. lets go with... God, who lets me know that worrying is a lack of trust, therefore i have nothing to worry about. ever.
Oct 3, 2008
Sep 26, 2008
drugs or me
tiny fragments of brain splattered across a page of unrealistic virtues meant to represent an ideal formed years before by someone who thinks they know.
my fingers lick the keyboard buttons like dogs liking salt of toes (thats f***ing wrong!). i'm anxious, i'm angsty, i'm listening to calming music to mute the rebelious side of the brain that cries "RANT! make your opinion about abstract art KNOWN!"
"shutup you brain ASS!"
"that was a passionate answer to no question!"
"your irrational and stubborn!"
i shift in my seat and hope nobody pays attention to my shifty gaze and nervous twitching legs. its not a big deal. just a 700 word review due in a few days. i've had weeks to do it. but the nervousness of more important things still linger in my head. 451 words and 13 uses of the thesaurus.
shapes and colours and indifferences to systematic approaches taken by those who know they know. unique. original. repeated.
"my body is a caageee" nope. skip the song, i do not like you arcade fire. rise against? oh my yes you shall do. "my sister, my brotherr!" chyeah. feed my desire to not write. tens of minutes later and 460 words. my mind crashes once more even before the reboot and i get lost in 4 more minutes of song. go to sleep (little man being erased) WHAT IF I COULD BE ERASED?! i am not a little man so that thought should not be connected with coherency. christas party is not for awhile... new paragraph. search the definition of original.
"which painting would you have sex with?"
"brain. shutup."
Insect like and mechanical, they also carry the subtle illusions of a body, or natural fragments of an organic world, looking like a Petri dish full of unconscious bacteria and microorganisms. The little things that make up understandable living systems put together in a mess of filled contours that represent nothing. In terms of.....
alliteration and runon sentences of nonsense viced together in cognitive thought upon a subject of non interest and distaste.
anathalloooooooooooooooo my muse. no greater distraction back to happiness cometh before ye. rarily. the bouncy legs shift from right to left, in unison and contradition, and if i had a partner at this table they would know. the screen vibrates with my transfered energy from the floor from my feet from my legs from my chair from my bum. to renew, cause to grow, or bloom again; indeed. a sneeze of thought and 535 words nailed to the failure to be. (approximately 600-700) words. that means i could be done. lesser men would have done so at 500, but i am MOSTLY man and i have 35 more! time to conclude this sucka i think to myself. 599? oh snap yes.
the end is ulimately the beginning of another review of the self, conducted by a system that will fade away into nothing within years of completion. transition to transition.
my fingers lick the keyboard buttons like dogs liking salt of toes (thats f***ing wrong!). i'm anxious, i'm angsty, i'm listening to calming music to mute the rebelious side of the brain that cries "RANT! make your opinion about abstract art KNOWN!"
"shutup you brain ASS!"
"that was a passionate answer to no question!"
"your irrational and stubborn!"
i shift in my seat and hope nobody pays attention to my shifty gaze and nervous twitching legs. its not a big deal. just a 700 word review due in a few days. i've had weeks to do it. but the nervousness of more important things still linger in my head. 451 words and 13 uses of the thesaurus.
shapes and colours and indifferences to systematic approaches taken by those who know they know. unique. original. repeated.
"my body is a caageee" nope. skip the song, i do not like you arcade fire. rise against? oh my yes you shall do. "my sister, my brotherr!" chyeah. feed my desire to not write. tens of minutes later and 460 words. my mind crashes once more even before the reboot and i get lost in 4 more minutes of song. go to sleep (little man being erased) WHAT IF I COULD BE ERASED?! i am not a little man so that thought should not be connected with coherency. christas party is not for awhile... new paragraph. search the definition of original.
"which painting would you have sex with?"
"brain. shutup."
Insect like and mechanical, they also carry the subtle illusions of a body, or natural fragments of an organic world, looking like a Petri dish full of unconscious bacteria and microorganisms. The little things that make up understandable living systems put together in a mess of filled contours that represent nothing. In terms of.....
alliteration and runon sentences of nonsense viced together in cognitive thought upon a subject of non interest and distaste.
anathalloooooooooooooooo my muse. no greater distraction back to happiness cometh before ye. rarily. the bouncy legs shift from right to left, in unison and contradition, and if i had a partner at this table they would know. the screen vibrates with my transfered energy from the floor from my feet from my legs from my chair from my bum. to renew, cause to grow, or bloom again; indeed. a sneeze of thought and 535 words nailed to the failure to be. (approximately 600-700) words. that means i could be done. lesser men would have done so at 500, but i am MOSTLY man and i have 35 more! time to conclude this sucka i think to myself. 599? oh snap yes.
the end is ulimately the beginning of another review of the self, conducted by a system that will fade away into nothing within years of completion. transition to transition.
note to self:
lets funk it up!
music to buy... when you have money:
underoath
trapt
whenever breaking benjamin comes out with a new cd
....
definitely a future chevelle album
taproot
a random cd cuz its been forever
people to love on:
everyone
thats all. have a good day you!
music to buy... when you have money:
underoath
trapt
whenever breaking benjamin comes out with a new cd
....
definitely a future chevelle album
taproot
a random cd cuz its been forever
people to love on:
everyone
thats all. have a good day you!
Sep 23, 2008
the bruce cambell effect
ooooo i should not have touched that. the intesity of the itchyness just got upped to irritable and above noticable. eeeeeeeeeeee.
as of late- i've been at school. and not working an ounce. well about 8 hounces (oh snap hours an ounces together? f***ing brilliant tyler...) each weekend day and spatters of hours throughout the week. i miss construction and its manly simpleness. starbucks is great to chill at and mock the upper echelons of our society, but then it gets busy again and i start to think: why? why am i helping the wheels of our caffiene driven society turn faster? i want to scream drink water not sugar! but then i endulge myself in the stomachly unsatisfying goods and no longer carry the right to aggressively observe. however the level of angst i feel, i usually oh yes 96% of the time feel awesome when i leave, so i cannot and shant not complain. if it were possible to focus almost all of my energy on school, i would! but alas life is not that compassionate. and if it were i'd grow stale... like a bad cookie nobody would ever want to eat... THIS cookie likes milk in him!
i've been a slacker when it comes to NZ. i've been praying... not enough, but thats about it. i need to actually SEND my full application an fee and such so i can secure my spot and fully step into absolute need for Godly intervention.. with funds and my heart... but for some reason i have a mental block over what i should do and i go on thinking harder about school. its terribly dissapointing to have something to do in the back of my mind that i KNOW will change my life for the better but being scared to commit to it. story of my life... i know that if i stay in calgary and finish out the year in school and with my AMAZING roomates (moving has been great to my soul... regardless how busy i am an never get to really hang out with them boys... still love it) i would have an amazing time and i think i'd potentially still grow... but potential isn't good enough. its gotta be absolute, and the only way to do that is to leave my comfortable life and go somewhere i've never been and expose myself for the shy person i am. and then kill that shy dude and take on a more approaching individual. at least with important things... can't afford to stay quiet anymore. to sum up- comfort = staleness with my faith. also i'd go broke, so pretty much i'm walking a financial plank into a pool that is currently empty and will rely on my trust in God to fill before i hit. quite the thing to constantly think about...
i love loving.
as of late- i've been at school. and not working an ounce. well about 8 hounces (oh snap hours an ounces together? f***ing brilliant tyler...) each weekend day and spatters of hours throughout the week. i miss construction and its manly simpleness. starbucks is great to chill at and mock the upper echelons of our society, but then it gets busy again and i start to think: why? why am i helping the wheels of our caffiene driven society turn faster? i want to scream drink water not sugar! but then i endulge myself in the stomachly unsatisfying goods and no longer carry the right to aggressively observe. however the level of angst i feel, i usually oh yes 96% of the time feel awesome when i leave, so i cannot and shant not complain. if it were possible to focus almost all of my energy on school, i would! but alas life is not that compassionate. and if it were i'd grow stale... like a bad cookie nobody would ever want to eat... THIS cookie likes milk in him!
i've been a slacker when it comes to NZ. i've been praying... not enough, but thats about it. i need to actually SEND my full application an fee and such so i can secure my spot and fully step into absolute need for Godly intervention.. with funds and my heart... but for some reason i have a mental block over what i should do and i go on thinking harder about school. its terribly dissapointing to have something to do in the back of my mind that i KNOW will change my life for the better but being scared to commit to it. story of my life... i know that if i stay in calgary and finish out the year in school and with my AMAZING roomates (moving has been great to my soul... regardless how busy i am an never get to really hang out with them boys... still love it) i would have an amazing time and i think i'd potentially still grow... but potential isn't good enough. its gotta be absolute, and the only way to do that is to leave my comfortable life and go somewhere i've never been and expose myself for the shy person i am. and then kill that shy dude and take on a more approaching individual. at least with important things... can't afford to stay quiet anymore. to sum up- comfort = staleness with my faith. also i'd go broke, so pretty much i'm walking a financial plank into a pool that is currently empty and will rely on my trust in God to fill before i hit. quite the thing to constantly think about...
i love loving.
Sep 11, 2008
real and for real
sometimes we lock things up. i have issues with this. because when i come home, and i know there are people home, and the door is locked? it feels like the world doesn't trust me. i'm not trustworthy enough to enter this house, and someone has to come let me in because i don't have a key. sometimes they don't have a key either. so if they leave and it gets locked they get stuck out of it forever. or sometimes inside forever. either way i don't get to come inside. sometimes they lock up and expect to come back later, but then they lose the key and once more something is lost. sometimes i make stupid metaphors about secrets. even though nobody is hiding secrets from me, maybe i am to them! ! aho, what now destiny. maaaaaan that was bad.
art is crazy.
art is crazy.
Sep 9, 2008
two h's or an h after a w equals whhiskey! the safe word, is whhiskey!
i looooooooooooooooove school. but i can't eat it because it'll make me fat. but its sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo goooooooooood. and the rest will follow... i see so much duality in everything these days. or maybe just sheep. when i think about sheep. often i'll see 'sheep' as followers, posers and lamewads who do what other people do to make themselves belong. or i see sheep as people who need to be led, people who are WILLING to be lead, and accept themselves as the sheep that eat grass and keep it looking sexy. as sexy as grass can or will look without gas guzzling machinery... SHEEP! maybe there isn't that much duality as i think, or maybe i just think about things so much more because i'm back in school, and everything must must must be considered when putting something into a painting. or drawing. or anything that needs justification to be understood by anyone who isn't just an ordinary sheep. turns out we are all sheep. some of us are just hungrier or woolier or blacker than the rest. its our individuality that seperates us from the other sheep down the hill. whoa dude if we are sheep we'd make one awesome cuddle pile. done. solid. thursdays at 9. cuddles.
Sep 2, 2008
oh hansel he's so hot right now
i am so tameable right now. i'm calm, happily conversed, and i could sleep at any second. its a brilliant stage of mind to be in with so many uncertain thoughts looming around in my head. clearly i have a bigger picture in mind, but there's so many little things along the way i'd like to stop and look at. just because i have the time... though it doesn't mean i should. just because i have the time doesn't mean its ok to lose focus of where the end is. i could get lost and end up somewhere i'm not this content. i could get stuck in a place where getting out would mean starting all over again. i know where i want to be. i know where i should be. i just can't seem to grasp that focus in clenched fists of discipline. i'm a wanderer by nature and a growing questioner by experience. i don't know what the end looks like. i jut know its going to be the beginning of another beautiful quest for another ending.
Aug 28, 2008
pages of what 2
i blew it with colour like you blew it with restraint. makes no difference because were one in the- no were not. i am no better + you are no worse, but your contradiction gives you far more to explain. but my wrist hurts. the shame is worse. mine, ours, yours, theirs, reason for doing things we justify with ignorance.. the only ONE to judge is the ONE who gave us the right to choose. no love could ever be more genuine.
Aug 27, 2008
pages of what
its only good times because it isn't great times. or crap times. its the 'times' that cause me to feel like this. its voting day and i vote for myself. if you'd let me, i'd vote for you. i'm bored enough to love you. i'm patient enough to wait for you. i could wait years, but i'd prefer months. days away and i still have no idea. everyone likes to sound smart, but everyone knows that everyone fakes it. pretend all i want, i still give a crap.
i did not realize it had been a month.
i shall appease- its 3:28pm, and about 11 hours and 23 minutes ago i was lying in bed awake and coughing and thinking far to much about life. the small short and wee of it is i'm scared as hell of several things. but i hit those things with video games to make them go away. and they never complain... i probably would've fallen asleep quite quickly if i had not played soccer. stupid sports... jacking up my love for life with more love and energy.. i do believe i need a strong dose of work day. its been a few days. and i need the money.. but were between houses... speaking of houses! i move to 59 hidden valley dr on the 15th of september. i think thats the addy. probly not, but its 59, and its in hidden valley, and i'm excited. man even i'm bored of this post.
Jul 28, 2008
brain explosions of july today!
halloween:
already decided is that i shall be skeletor. this will require effort on 3 fronts as i have nothing .. yeah. front 1 will demand a generous amount of fabric to make a cloak and massively awesome hood to house my head in. and other clothing-related fabrics to ensure my non-nude body running around in a skull mask. which leads to front 2, a skull mask, or makeup prosthetics of a semi permanent nature. front 3 would be props and vocal skills, which can be aquired at a dollar store, or listening to the he man musical. praaaaaaaaaayed! aeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh!
another deadly awesome possibility would have to be phantom limb from venture bros. my most favorite villain poses the unique challenge of being a walking torso and no more. marc an i have discussed options of what could be used to hide arms and legs, but this option is perhaps better left in the imagination to hype up people who won't actually see you on halloween but entertain the thought of you being an incredible halloween connoisser.
the remainder of my present halloween addicted brain has landed on being the lead singer of headley. all i'd have to do is have an inflated sense of importance and take off my shirt at every occasion possible. if i were truly committed to the part i would stand in a shower with my hands against the wall and head down with the showery blastness singing gunnin' whilst drawing tattoos on myself and watching them fade quickly. this would require lots of hand i coordination and understanding of writing upside down in several different fonts while staying withing the bounds of tattooist perfection. also i'd have to spend halloween alone because nobody would come to the bathroom just to see me naked and drawing on myself. pfft... i don't need halloween for this...
in other new:
i have a fiendish addiction to packing in perfection. i have tetrisitis, and everything must be immaculate or i must take it out an start over. im very good at packing my car. but it only happens in spurts... pack 2 or three items, have a 15 minute toast break. pack about 5 items, have an hour bathroom and shower excursion. pack or decide what to pack for about 10 minutes, take 6 hours off to socialize and ponder tattoos while playing guitar hero. i'm very disciplined.
EDIT****
skeletor has been done dozens of times even on google image, therefore it is now cliche and stupid as unfrozen soggy peas. now decided for me'n jef = two doctors, both of the venture bros. jef will partake as dr byron orpheus, and i shall go as dr henry killinger, with his magic murder bag. that is all.
already decided is that i shall be skeletor. this will require effort on 3 fronts as i have nothing .. yeah. front 1 will demand a generous amount of fabric to make a cloak and massively awesome hood to house my head in. and other clothing-related fabrics to ensure my non-nude body running around in a skull mask. which leads to front 2, a skull mask, or makeup prosthetics of a semi permanent nature. front 3 would be props and vocal skills, which can be aquired at a dollar store, or listening to the he man musical. praaaaaaaaaayed! aeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh!
another deadly awesome possibility would have to be phantom limb from venture bros. my most favorite villain poses the unique challenge of being a walking torso and no more. marc an i have discussed options of what could be used to hide arms and legs, but this option is perhaps better left in the imagination to hype up people who won't actually see you on halloween but entertain the thought of you being an incredible halloween connoisser.
the remainder of my present halloween addicted brain has landed on being the lead singer of headley. all i'd have to do is have an inflated sense of importance and take off my shirt at every occasion possible. if i were truly committed to the part i would stand in a shower with my hands against the wall and head down with the showery blastness singing gunnin' whilst drawing tattoos on myself and watching them fade quickly. this would require lots of hand i coordination and understanding of writing upside down in several different fonts while staying withing the bounds of tattooist perfection. also i'd have to spend halloween alone because nobody would come to the bathroom just to see me naked and drawing on myself. pfft... i don't need halloween for this...
in other new:
i have a fiendish addiction to packing in perfection. i have tetrisitis, and everything must be immaculate or i must take it out an start over. im very good at packing my car. but it only happens in spurts... pack 2 or three items, have a 15 minute toast break. pack about 5 items, have an hour bathroom and shower excursion. pack or decide what to pack for about 10 minutes, take 6 hours off to socialize and ponder tattoos while playing guitar hero. i'm very disciplined.
EDIT****
skeletor has been done dozens of times even on google image, therefore it is now cliche and stupid as unfrozen soggy peas. now decided for me'n jef = two doctors, both of the venture bros. jef will partake as dr byron orpheus, and i shall go as dr henry killinger, with his magic murder bag. that is all.
Jul 27, 2008
pontiac vibe 2009
note to self: marry girl who checks off surf/ski in the same day.
life goals = complete.
life goals = complete.
Jul 26, 2008
flip
a month an 6 days really?! thought i had more creativity than that. oh wait, i do. i get into situations where i'm incredibly stimulated and i have words of absolute beauty and perfection flowing through my brain but instead of writing them down i let them brew into a stew, then i throw that stew into a hot oven with all my other thoughts and they lose all resemblance to anything personally original or anything not apathetically based. sigh. so i shall rant about my life! the title, 'flip' is because i find i'm saying it far more than normal. far more. i'm gonna tone it down about 67% so it doesn't become annoying to myself even, but keep up with the FOTC (because flight of the conchords is far to long to type clearly... ps thats the last time i'll use it. i'm not novelizing their genius by putting up on the same mispoken pedestal as LOTR. funnily filmed in NZ... screw any abbreviation with 'of the' in the middle.) based slang because regardless of annoyance, it still owns my life. fingers on keyboard just feel good. straight up.
i just turned 22. i thought that deserved and indentation and a new paragraph. but still no capitals because i haven't referred to anything regarding my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, whom i only use capitals for because really its the only thing worthy of capital lettering. its no disrespect to other valid sources of capitalization, i just feel in my own personal writing i should focus equality to all with my God in exemption of that self inflicted law. I AM OLD! but still stag-in-the-woods young. ladies. stag. deer. male. shoo, i'm single and i like it that way. (oh but you can come.) HA inner dialog about my relational choices. hehehehe. so really i'm no older physically than any other human being. we all decay. LIES i am as old as any other 22 year old and one dayer. flip.
being at this august stage of life where my best friend is leaving me for greener pastures, i've now been outed into the world of finding a place to live, and honestly, i'm super excited for the potential of parking my car by a body of water and falling asleep there. mebe not every night in august, but not having a 'home' to come home to seems like quite the adventure to me. 'aim high' they say. ..... ... what if SIMPLICITY MAKES ME HAPPY! f***ing world. deeming whats acceptable by our standards. NOMADS FOR THE WIN! but only for august. super super excited for two tight roomates once september rolls around, one of whom is pretty much in the exact same leaving situation later on in the year. ps making plans scares me. because my plans could so easily be changed by Gods plans. nevertheless pragmatically i've been told time and time again that a 'planned' future won't lead to homelessness. and i agree, i just... think homeless people sometimes have the right idea. not with begging for food or being hungry, but just with being homeless! how awesome to not have anything and just drink in what the world has to offer.... my goodness what a thrill! but again, only for a month. i wouldn't ever condone this course of action as a viable excuse to 'live free' but perhaps a dabble for awhile couldn't hurt.
but of course i'm house hopping anyways, so never fear! i just need some chunk of floor, and PRESTO! i have a bed. i'm excited. i'm gonna go invigorate my senses by.... drawing? graffitiing on things? learning some music on me knew guitar? (from my dearest love marc. its guy love. love between two guys. you dont' have to understand. you just have to accept.)
PEE
i just turned 22. i thought that deserved and indentation and a new paragraph. but still no capitals because i haven't referred to anything regarding my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, whom i only use capitals for because really its the only thing worthy of capital lettering. its no disrespect to other valid sources of capitalization, i just feel in my own personal writing i should focus equality to all with my God in exemption of that self inflicted law. I AM OLD! but still stag-in-the-woods young. ladies. stag. deer. male. shoo, i'm single and i like it that way. (oh but you can come.) HA inner dialog about my relational choices. hehehehe. so really i'm no older physically than any other human being. we all decay. LIES i am as old as any other 22 year old and one dayer. flip.
being at this august stage of life where my best friend is leaving me for greener pastures, i've now been outed into the world of finding a place to live, and honestly, i'm super excited for the potential of parking my car by a body of water and falling asleep there. mebe not every night in august, but not having a 'home' to come home to seems like quite the adventure to me. 'aim high' they say. ..... ... what if SIMPLICITY MAKES ME HAPPY! f***ing world. deeming whats acceptable by our standards. NOMADS FOR THE WIN! but only for august. super super excited for two tight roomates once september rolls around, one of whom is pretty much in the exact same leaving situation later on in the year. ps making plans scares me. because my plans could so easily be changed by Gods plans. nevertheless pragmatically i've been told time and time again that a 'planned' future won't lead to homelessness. and i agree, i just... think homeless people sometimes have the right idea. not with begging for food or being hungry, but just with being homeless! how awesome to not have anything and just drink in what the world has to offer.... my goodness what a thrill! but again, only for a month. i wouldn't ever condone this course of action as a viable excuse to 'live free' but perhaps a dabble for awhile couldn't hurt.
but of course i'm house hopping anyways, so never fear! i just need some chunk of floor, and PRESTO! i have a bed. i'm excited. i'm gonna go invigorate my senses by.... drawing? graffitiing on things? learning some music on me knew guitar? (from my dearest love marc. its guy love. love between two guys. you dont' have to understand. you just have to accept.)
PEE
Jun 19, 2008
prepare to: READ!! (seriously, way long.)
CHAPTER! ONE!
(they are tabs so you can stop and come back. JUST LIKE A BOOK OH MY YES!)
one day tyler played frisbee. he met up with his homies jef and john, who had recently stocked up on goodies and flavoured water in preparation for their 16 hour journey to colorado. very little was known about the trip, except that white water rafting was the expected forcast of awesome for that specific weekend. they left the city of calgary at about 9ish pm, and migrated south towards the border. jef was sleepy so it was not long before tyler and john were deep into discussion about life love and the things that irked them to destroy things. they bonded, and they became tight as two fingers crossed. eventually the border came near.
"I'll bet you he'll be a dick." said john, confident about his american border patrol stereotype.
"No way! Just look at him laughing it up with the SUV right in front of us. This'll be cake." thought tyler, through his unshakable fear of authority.
instantly the guards emotion turned from smiles to frowns as 3 teenage looking adults drove up to the gate, nervously if a car could do so. he asked where they were going, what they were going to do, and where they had come from. 3 canadians and one with an american passport and no proof of residency... what a treat at 1 am for this lucky guard. with some personal penetrating questions, he came to the conclusion that these adolescent adults could do no harm even if they wanted to, so he released them without further questioning but with further scowling.
"He was a dick." with an arrogant tone rang john. who then fell asleep. but who would wake up without knowing and turn the music down a touch, almost consistently for a few hours. tyler thought it was a slight bit of adorable and let it slide. eventually the great montanian city of great falls came up, and tyler passed the driving torch to jef after his 5-6ish hours of work. 3 hours later he awoke to a beautiful badlands sunrise with jef on the side of the road, pleading to be let back asleep, for the mountain pass he had chosen was stressful and slow, with many animals taunting him with death. being a control freak, tyler accepted his position as primary driver once more and headed east towards beautiful billings. but its not beautiful, is it. it was a hand wobbler...
as sheridan, wyoming was the point where john took over driving from tyler, the sun had come up and the lack of air conditioning had made emily quite the heat filled submarine. tyler woke up from a several hour nap drenched in sweat, cursing the daylight hours for their unforgiving downpour of unsolicited light into the cabin of emily. there was much mild swearing for a time before drivers switched once more, at a small town just outside of colorado name cheyenne. subway and walmart were had. with amurican cheese.
CHAPTER 2
eventually the trio made their way through the sweltering city of denver, at 15 miles per hour, in the orgy of rush hour traffic. sights were seen from a distance and with no pictures, and feet were parked outside of windows. cute girls were spotted then ignored, and later rather than sooner, the sweet mountain paths of the rockies en-route to buena vista were bought an sold with their souls. there was no cell phone reception.
the small truck town where john nearly erupted in his pants because of bladder stretchage was a small truck town with nothing but toilets and coffee. the weary boys thought it was buena vista itself. but then found out that it was not, nor were they even on the highway 24 yet, so they buckled back in for what they thought would be at least another 20 minute drive. 2 minutes and 34 seconds later, they arrived in buena vista, and settled into a coffee shop... where tyler contemplated peeing more as well as entertained thoughts of frisbee.
later, WHILST enjoying the freedom of an open feild with some frisbee! and... other ball related sports... not disc... related... there was a run-in with a local involving the who and what of the boys in the location they were at. it was friendly and the girl was cute. they felt welcome and excited immediately. they thought perhaps they could one day become locals, and confront strangers in a way that would make them think this was the friendliest place on the wester hemisphere. so far, it was. (note from the narrator- I do not remember typing 'so far, it was.' its a rogue sentence and materialized from nowhere.)
after some bowling for balls with a basketball, tyler's friend katie showed up. they had been friends in michigan and was the reason they had made their way down to buena vista, as she would be taking them white water rafting on the coming sunday. katie had said she would show them where they could camp for free, but since it was late, dark, and starting to get cold, she allowed them to set up a tent outside her house. what they did not know, was her house was infested with 22 beautiful christ following river guiding girls, whom the boys would eventually meet 60ish% of. it was then that they became the tent boys outside of the red house. (let it be known that infestation is no longer negative, as anything can be overrun by goodness. ie: mitch hedberg's classic koala bear infestation. not bad, magical. and cuddly. why do they have to be so f***ing cute. and so far away from me.)
there were a few girls roaming the kitchen, and they were rad. the men (because around real women the boys transformed into men. not yet BA men, but men nontheless.) set up camp and crashed hard into deep sleep.
C 3 (break for a banana or two.)
they awoke to being very freaking hot. the tent had become a sauna, and -30 degree sleeping bags soaked up the heat like soft rock fans on the new coldplay album. it was the start to a beautiful day. katie and the red house girls (for as previously stated but not explained, it was called the red house. because at one time it was red, though now it was brown.) had gone off to their daily duties, and john jef as well as tyler bathed each other in sunscreen and set off across the streets in search of everything mandatory to the human body. minus showers.
breakfast was had at the roosters crow, or caw, or tail, but something involving rooster. katie came off from work and joined them and they talked about canada and rafting and other gettingtoknowoneanother stories. it was clear to be a fantastical day/weekend/fantasy life. she had given them directions to either climbing possibilities, or lakes of the twin-ed nature. after an amazing drive to the lakes where swimming may or may not have happened, they spent awhile skipping and hitting rocks with large sticks which then turned into a mini photosesh with jef' amazing camera. it was too cold to swim. but just right to bathe (dude is that seriously a word? dope.) in sand.
the absolute freedom they had turned into bold inquisition of how long they could stay there, and if not, what they could do in the limited time they had. it was clear tattoos were a strong desire, but only john had the design, money, and social urgency to conjure up an appointment. it was set for monday at 1pm, therefore it was also decided the men were going to take tuesday off from work as well. nobody dared care enough to doubt that decision.
they headed back to their adopted field to partake in daylight frisbee, as the previous night had been almost disappointing with the amount of cold and poor visibility. much to their suprise, there was a large bunch of youth tossing around a single disc, in clear preparation to partake in a game of ultimate. an invitation to play lead to jef and john enjoying their first game of frisbee, while tyler merely drooled in anticipation for the game to start. he's much like a puppy that way it had appeared. (ratio of excitement: dog-> tennis ball or walk = tyler-> frisbee (or maybe hand holding)) Jef quickly and quietly fell in love with his mark, a petite brunette in a yellow shirt and a habit of bumping into him while being defended. john was tall. tyler tried to be humble. it was later discovered that the group was enjoying their day off from a work camp at a young life location, so brothers'n sisters'n christ bondages were made instantly.
chapter C H A P T E R chapter 4 F O U R 4
(the rediculous length of this story weighs heavily on the sould of the author, who doesn't think anyone will read in one sitting, as already it has taken 3 sittings to write. but. eventually... it just needs to be written and documented. lest we forget...)
FIBArk (http://www.fibark.net/SubMain.asp?ID=2) was an unexpected unplanned very welcomed part of the journey. katies excitement quickly was passed onto the boys, who's overwhelming desire to stay was only getting strengthened by every minute of awesomeness that they were fortunate enough to partake in. jef captured some amazing photographs which he has promised to one day show someone. white water kayaking is not nearly as popular as it should be. sonic food eating contest followed, with a draw between tyler and jef. both felt ill. both felt it was worth it. splotchy sunburns and sore feet were granted to everyone on that day.
the next stay started the same as saturday. sweaty, with a not so subtle hint of needed bladder evacuation. mixed with the anticipation of rafting later in the day, it was an easy wake up for all 3 minus john, who is a sleep hound. tyler and katie met in the kitchen to discuss the plans for the day, which to the readers isn't a big deal at all, but with the men's ignorance of the situation it was necessary. then they bought cereal and goodies. the theme song of the trip was then created, as john could not stop singing they few verses he knew, but at the same time the ones everyone knows so everyone sings. if ever there was an extended amount of silence, the song was sung. (the song was a U2 song that currently escapes the mind of all participants.) singing and walking towards an unknown destination, they again dared to think thoughts of rebelling from calgarian society to dive into the life of a buena vista...ian. buena vistan. yes.
the time came for rafting preparation and self motivation to get prepped for rafting. it was not hard, and bladders were tri-emptied to make sure no fear would show. the waiting seemed immensely difficult to swallow, but many minutes later they launched and began their 10 mile float down the river. katie had made it clear she was in full buisness guide mode, and her love for the river was clear to all. even the river. who shows its platonic love for her by trying to kill her. the first five miles were calm, thirsty miles in which they naive boys were prepped for the river's rage that lay ahead. any thoughts of wanting babies or wanting to make babies were shattered by the surge of water that flowed over hidden boulders of death and katie's enthused shouts of CMON! forward hard!. jef and tyler in the front of the boat were bombarded by splashes of cold, bacteria free (in theory) river water. laughs, shouts of adrenaline, lead them through the first set of rapids known as the stairs. (but probably not as the author was to focused on not dying to remember the names of the beasts) they had tasted rapid and it was exhilarating.
the most memorable rapid section for the now BAMF men was known as the zoomflume. (80% sure.) mainly because they had not anticipated having a stronger left side and had spun around to face the rapids sideways backwards and scary-as-hell-wards. their naivety let them have fun while katies knowledge of what can happen in rapids gave her riverstress. eventually they will know what it looked like. the rest of the rapids gave equal amounts of man-juice to the boys, as well as commanded even more respect for their fearless guide. it had been a fantastic experience and has strongly left them wanting more. after the excitement and adrenaline had given way to enthused exhaustion, and after a 2 hour car siesta in which they once socialized with a kool kat named jordan, they ventured off into the town once more, aimless, and cherishingly. they were romanced by the town and AGAIN got lost in thoughts of moving into this simplistic lifestyle that called to them. this is also when their bitter thoughts turned into happy hopeful thoughts that allowed them to return home happy and hopeful that they could continue in these outdoor pursuits and relationships.
le chapitre 5
being in their final night, they boys wanted to socialize with the awesome 22 of the red house. thought what was not thought of was the busy and everpresent agenda's of the employed. they sought to play pee spoons with whoever, but were for the time dissapointed. but as more came home with willingness to stay up and socialize, the boys quickly thrust their joys upon conversation with whoever would have them. jef fell in love again with an american french major who also desired to go to france. john got to know some male rafting guides better and tyler sat an listened to funny conversations in the couch room. to them it was the perfect night to stay up and talk late into the night to recap their great day and night and spoon.
while some goodbyes were said the night before, they knew the fun goodbyes were approaching and not even john struggled to get a grip on consciousness. first things first were to gain access to more supplies for the journey home which they knew in their hearts would take them less time. they just knew. 20 hours max. its like esp or something they all shared. (which turned out later to be just about 20 hours! shocked face oh my) the entry to the kitchen was met with SHIRADES! and participation was necessary for their captive milk. not really, but they wanted more social interaction with the girls, and shirades with strangers was the best way to show they had no embarrassment towards misguided direction. it was a precious morning and once concluded it was decided letters were to be written to the girls and katie. after 30 minutes of writing and critiquing each others lame words of thank you, they officially said goodbye to the girls of good and took off. to the field to play more frisbee.
once the anticipated hour of 1pm rolled around, johns stone faced emotion showed tidbits of excitement for his ink, while tyler and jef showed reasonable amounts of excitement for him joining the inked club, considering they were leaving what they didn't want to and were plain old tired. his tattoo artist was a woman named kim, who had been in the buisness since the 70's. maybe not as an artist, but definitely as someone awesome in the 70's. she told stories while another artist BSed jef into many stories of awesome falseness, and he + tyler = drawing done. excited tattoo's that yearned to be put into skin. Kim was married to the head artist, and their genuine love for tattooing was present when Johns leg was completed, as she puppy excitedly rushed to her husband to show him what she had done, like a child doing a drawing would show their work to a parent. it was adorable and they all agreed people of this passionate caliber were definitely preferred to the 'next in line please!' tattoos that were given to jef and tyler. not doubting the work they had gotten, but the appreciation for something spectacular. genuine was the title for the town of buena vista. the drive home was uneventful, minus an almost accident in the pants, as well as tyler killing a bird. but it wished to die because it flew under his tired and erupted into feathers behind the car. a good death.
the trip was rated 5 hang looses out of 5 hang looses.
trip things you should know.
#of minutes playing frisbee:
approximately 312
#of girls fallen in love with:
Jef- 4 or 5
John- none, by choice
Tyler- 2-3ish
music most appreciated:
Florez
Guster
Safetysuit
music that should have been more appreciated:
Racoon
Alexisonfire
# of extremely gay comments:
uncountable
average height:
5'8"
gas is way cheaper in the states. if we were to convert, it would be about one dollar.
ya'll said by non-southern people is cool. and acceptable. and applicable. why must we stick with 'you guys'.
comedy is only funny if there is more than one person awake, and that person must not have heard it before. also: 3 albums of dane cook straight is too much dane cook.
bottles, glasses, or cartons of chocolate milk consumed: 8
(they are tabs so you can stop and come back. JUST LIKE A BOOK OH MY YES!)
one day tyler played frisbee. he met up with his homies jef and john, who had recently stocked up on goodies and flavoured water in preparation for their 16 hour journey to colorado. very little was known about the trip, except that white water rafting was the expected forcast of awesome for that specific weekend. they left the city of calgary at about 9ish pm, and migrated south towards the border. jef was sleepy so it was not long before tyler and john were deep into discussion about life love and the things that irked them to destroy things. they bonded, and they became tight as two fingers crossed. eventually the border came near.
"I'll bet you he'll be a dick." said john, confident about his american border patrol stereotype.
"No way! Just look at him laughing it up with the SUV right in front of us. This'll be cake." thought tyler, through his unshakable fear of authority.
instantly the guards emotion turned from smiles to frowns as 3 teenage looking adults drove up to the gate, nervously if a car could do so. he asked where they were going, what they were going to do, and where they had come from. 3 canadians and one with an american passport and no proof of residency... what a treat at 1 am for this lucky guard. with some personal penetrating questions, he came to the conclusion that these adolescent adults could do no harm even if they wanted to, so he released them without further questioning but with further scowling.
"He was a dick." with an arrogant tone rang john. who then fell asleep. but who would wake up without knowing and turn the music down a touch, almost consistently for a few hours. tyler thought it was a slight bit of adorable and let it slide. eventually the great montanian city of great falls came up, and tyler passed the driving torch to jef after his 5-6ish hours of work. 3 hours later he awoke to a beautiful badlands sunrise with jef on the side of the road, pleading to be let back asleep, for the mountain pass he had chosen was stressful and slow, with many animals taunting him with death. being a control freak, tyler accepted his position as primary driver once more and headed east towards beautiful billings. but its not beautiful, is it. it was a hand wobbler...
as sheridan, wyoming was the point where john took over driving from tyler, the sun had come up and the lack of air conditioning had made emily quite the heat filled submarine. tyler woke up from a several hour nap drenched in sweat, cursing the daylight hours for their unforgiving downpour of unsolicited light into the cabin of emily. there was much mild swearing for a time before drivers switched once more, at a small town just outside of colorado name cheyenne. subway and walmart were had. with amurican cheese.
CHAPTER 2
eventually the trio made their way through the sweltering city of denver, at 15 miles per hour, in the orgy of rush hour traffic. sights were seen from a distance and with no pictures, and feet were parked outside of windows. cute girls were spotted then ignored, and later rather than sooner, the sweet mountain paths of the rockies en-route to buena vista were bought an sold with their souls. there was no cell phone reception.
the small truck town where john nearly erupted in his pants because of bladder stretchage was a small truck town with nothing but toilets and coffee. the weary boys thought it was buena vista itself. but then found out that it was not, nor were they even on the highway 24 yet, so they buckled back in for what they thought would be at least another 20 minute drive. 2 minutes and 34 seconds later, they arrived in buena vista, and settled into a coffee shop... where tyler contemplated peeing more as well as entertained thoughts of frisbee.
later, WHILST enjoying the freedom of an open feild with some frisbee! and... other ball related sports... not disc... related... there was a run-in with a local involving the who and what of the boys in the location they were at. it was friendly and the girl was cute. they felt welcome and excited immediately. they thought perhaps they could one day become locals, and confront strangers in a way that would make them think this was the friendliest place on the wester hemisphere. so far, it was. (note from the narrator- I do not remember typing 'so far, it was.' its a rogue sentence and materialized from nowhere.)
after some bowling for balls with a basketball, tyler's friend katie showed up. they had been friends in michigan and was the reason they had made their way down to buena vista, as she would be taking them white water rafting on the coming sunday. katie had said she would show them where they could camp for free, but since it was late, dark, and starting to get cold, she allowed them to set up a tent outside her house. what they did not know, was her house was infested with 22 beautiful christ following river guiding girls, whom the boys would eventually meet 60ish% of. it was then that they became the tent boys outside of the red house. (let it be known that infestation is no longer negative, as anything can be overrun by goodness. ie: mitch hedberg's classic koala bear infestation. not bad, magical. and cuddly. why do they have to be so f***ing cute. and so far away from me.)
there were a few girls roaming the kitchen, and they were rad. the men (because around real women the boys transformed into men. not yet BA men, but men nontheless.) set up camp and crashed hard into deep sleep.
C 3 (break for a banana or two.)
they awoke to being very freaking hot. the tent had become a sauna, and -30 degree sleeping bags soaked up the heat like soft rock fans on the new coldplay album. it was the start to a beautiful day. katie and the red house girls (for as previously stated but not explained, it was called the red house. because at one time it was red, though now it was brown.) had gone off to their daily duties, and john jef as well as tyler bathed each other in sunscreen and set off across the streets in search of everything mandatory to the human body. minus showers.
breakfast was had at the roosters crow, or caw, or tail, but something involving rooster. katie came off from work and joined them and they talked about canada and rafting and other gettingtoknowoneanother stories. it was clear to be a fantastical day/weekend/fantasy life. she had given them directions to either climbing possibilities, or lakes of the twin-ed nature. after an amazing drive to the lakes where swimming may or may not have happened, they spent awhile skipping and hitting rocks with large sticks which then turned into a mini photosesh with jef' amazing camera. it was too cold to swim. but just right to bathe (dude is that seriously a word? dope.) in sand.
the absolute freedom they had turned into bold inquisition of how long they could stay there, and if not, what they could do in the limited time they had. it was clear tattoos were a strong desire, but only john had the design, money, and social urgency to conjure up an appointment. it was set for monday at 1pm, therefore it was also decided the men were going to take tuesday off from work as well. nobody dared care enough to doubt that decision.
they headed back to their adopted field to partake in daylight frisbee, as the previous night had been almost disappointing with the amount of cold and poor visibility. much to their suprise, there was a large bunch of youth tossing around a single disc, in clear preparation to partake in a game of ultimate. an invitation to play lead to jef and john enjoying their first game of frisbee, while tyler merely drooled in anticipation for the game to start. he's much like a puppy that way it had appeared. (ratio of excitement: dog-> tennis ball or walk = tyler-> frisbee (or maybe hand holding)) Jef quickly and quietly fell in love with his mark, a petite brunette in a yellow shirt and a habit of bumping into him while being defended. john was tall. tyler tried to be humble. it was later discovered that the group was enjoying their day off from a work camp at a young life location, so brothers'n sisters'n christ bondages were made instantly.
chapter C H A P T E R chapter 4 F O U R 4
(the rediculous length of this story weighs heavily on the sould of the author, who doesn't think anyone will read in one sitting, as already it has taken 3 sittings to write. but. eventually... it just needs to be written and documented. lest we forget...)
FIBArk (http://www.fibark.net/SubMain.asp?ID=2) was an unexpected unplanned very welcomed part of the journey. katies excitement quickly was passed onto the boys, who's overwhelming desire to stay was only getting strengthened by every minute of awesomeness that they were fortunate enough to partake in. jef captured some amazing photographs which he has promised to one day show someone. white water kayaking is not nearly as popular as it should be. sonic food eating contest followed, with a draw between tyler and jef. both felt ill. both felt it was worth it. splotchy sunburns and sore feet were granted to everyone on that day.
the next stay started the same as saturday. sweaty, with a not so subtle hint of needed bladder evacuation. mixed with the anticipation of rafting later in the day, it was an easy wake up for all 3 minus john, who is a sleep hound. tyler and katie met in the kitchen to discuss the plans for the day, which to the readers isn't a big deal at all, but with the men's ignorance of the situation it was necessary. then they bought cereal and goodies. the theme song of the trip was then created, as john could not stop singing they few verses he knew, but at the same time the ones everyone knows so everyone sings. if ever there was an extended amount of silence, the song was sung. (the song was a U2 song that currently escapes the mind of all participants.) singing and walking towards an unknown destination, they again dared to think thoughts of rebelling from calgarian society to dive into the life of a buena vista...ian. buena vistan. yes.
the time came for rafting preparation and self motivation to get prepped for rafting. it was not hard, and bladders were tri-emptied to make sure no fear would show. the waiting seemed immensely difficult to swallow, but many minutes later they launched and began their 10 mile float down the river. katie had made it clear she was in full buisness guide mode, and her love for the river was clear to all. even the river. who shows its platonic love for her by trying to kill her. the first five miles were calm, thirsty miles in which they naive boys were prepped for the river's rage that lay ahead. any thoughts of wanting babies or wanting to make babies were shattered by the surge of water that flowed over hidden boulders of death and katie's enthused shouts of CMON! forward hard!. jef and tyler in the front of the boat were bombarded by splashes of cold, bacteria free (in theory) river water. laughs, shouts of adrenaline, lead them through the first set of rapids known as the stairs. (but probably not as the author was to focused on not dying to remember the names of the beasts) they had tasted rapid and it was exhilarating.
the most memorable rapid section for the now BAMF men was known as the zoomflume. (80% sure.) mainly because they had not anticipated having a stronger left side and had spun around to face the rapids sideways backwards and scary-as-hell-wards. their naivety let them have fun while katies knowledge of what can happen in rapids gave her riverstress. eventually they will know what it looked like. the rest of the rapids gave equal amounts of man-juice to the boys, as well as commanded even more respect for their fearless guide. it had been a fantastic experience and has strongly left them wanting more. after the excitement and adrenaline had given way to enthused exhaustion, and after a 2 hour car siesta in which they once socialized with a kool kat named jordan, they ventured off into the town once more, aimless, and cherishingly. they were romanced by the town and AGAIN got lost in thoughts of moving into this simplistic lifestyle that called to them. this is also when their bitter thoughts turned into happy hopeful thoughts that allowed them to return home happy and hopeful that they could continue in these outdoor pursuits and relationships.
le chapitre 5
being in their final night, they boys wanted to socialize with the awesome 22 of the red house. thought what was not thought of was the busy and everpresent agenda's of the employed. they sought to play pee spoons with whoever, but were for the time dissapointed. but as more came home with willingness to stay up and socialize, the boys quickly thrust their joys upon conversation with whoever would have them. jef fell in love again with an american french major who also desired to go to france. john got to know some male rafting guides better and tyler sat an listened to funny conversations in the couch room. to them it was the perfect night to stay up and talk late into the night to recap their great day and night and spoon.
while some goodbyes were said the night before, they knew the fun goodbyes were approaching and not even john struggled to get a grip on consciousness. first things first were to gain access to more supplies for the journey home which they knew in their hearts would take them less time. they just knew. 20 hours max. its like esp or something they all shared. (which turned out later to be just about 20 hours! shocked face oh my) the entry to the kitchen was met with SHIRADES! and participation was necessary for their captive milk. not really, but they wanted more social interaction with the girls, and shirades with strangers was the best way to show they had no embarrassment towards misguided direction. it was a precious morning and once concluded it was decided letters were to be written to the girls and katie. after 30 minutes of writing and critiquing each others lame words of thank you, they officially said goodbye to the girls of good and took off. to the field to play more frisbee.
once the anticipated hour of 1pm rolled around, johns stone faced emotion showed tidbits of excitement for his ink, while tyler and jef showed reasonable amounts of excitement for him joining the inked club, considering they were leaving what they didn't want to and were plain old tired. his tattoo artist was a woman named kim, who had been in the buisness since the 70's. maybe not as an artist, but definitely as someone awesome in the 70's. she told stories while another artist BSed jef into many stories of awesome falseness, and he + tyler = drawing done. excited tattoo's that yearned to be put into skin. Kim was married to the head artist, and their genuine love for tattooing was present when Johns leg was completed, as she puppy excitedly rushed to her husband to show him what she had done, like a child doing a drawing would show their work to a parent. it was adorable and they all agreed people of this passionate caliber were definitely preferred to the 'next in line please!' tattoos that were given to jef and tyler. not doubting the work they had gotten, but the appreciation for something spectacular. genuine was the title for the town of buena vista. the drive home was uneventful, minus an almost accident in the pants, as well as tyler killing a bird. but it wished to die because it flew under his tired and erupted into feathers behind the car. a good death.
the trip was rated 5 hang looses out of 5 hang looses.
trip things you should know.
#of minutes playing frisbee:
approximately 312
#of girls fallen in love with:
Jef- 4 or 5
John- none, by choice
Tyler- 2-3ish
music most appreciated:
Florez
Guster
Safetysuit
music that should have been more appreciated:
Racoon
Alexisonfire
# of extremely gay comments:
uncountable
average height:
5'8"
gas is way cheaper in the states. if we were to convert, it would be about one dollar.
ya'll said by non-southern people is cool. and acceptable. and applicable. why must we stick with 'you guys'.
comedy is only funny if there is more than one person awake, and that person must not have heard it before. also: 3 albums of dane cook straight is too much dane cook.
bottles, glasses, or cartons of chocolate milk consumed: 8
Jun 17, 2008
pink roads and death wish birds
things i have learnt/pondered while in the shower 4 1/2 minutes ago.
such as things could be worse... IF
say you were walking around naked. your roommate/father figure/phys-ed teacher walks in. you COULD'VE been crab walking around naked.
say you choked on an apple core in a fit of mouthly pride trying to show up steve the pear-core eater. you COULD'VE been sniffing a strangers hair and accidentally huffed it into your nostrils, making the situation both awkward and hostile.
lets say you expected someone to be naked when you walked in a room, but instead, you were dreaming, and you woke up in a grove of apricots with no shoes and the ground was icky and sticky. you COULD'VE been strapped down to an ironing board and had a comb tickle you until the point of urination.
say you have sex and get herpes. you COULD'VE gotten someone pregnant. but. sucks. now you have herpes.
say you miss a chance to give will smith a high five. you COULD'VE missed a chance to hug jack black.
none of this has ever happened. to me. and to those it has... sucks. now you have herpes.
such as things could be worse... IF
say you were walking around naked. your roommate/father figure/phys-ed teacher walks in. you COULD'VE been crab walking around naked.
say you choked on an apple core in a fit of mouthly pride trying to show up steve the pear-core eater. you COULD'VE been sniffing a strangers hair and accidentally huffed it into your nostrils, making the situation both awkward and hostile.
lets say you expected someone to be naked when you walked in a room, but instead, you were dreaming, and you woke up in a grove of apricots with no shoes and the ground was icky and sticky. you COULD'VE been strapped down to an ironing board and had a comb tickle you until the point of urination.
say you have sex and get herpes. you COULD'VE gotten someone pregnant. but. sucks. now you have herpes.
say you miss a chance to give will smith a high five. you COULD'VE missed a chance to hug jack black.
none of this has ever happened. to me. and to those it has... sucks. now you have herpes.
Jun 8, 2008
ceasar salad is the only salad i acknowledge as 'complete'. it completes me. with bacon.
if i were to have a salad-off with anyone, i'd choose my mirror self so i could eat 2. solidified water never tasted so good before. thats right, i write about what i eat. its a moment of glory, independence, and self gratification (stifles laugh.) the croutons are as crispy as the morning air after the first frost, which so happens to have happened many months ago and will happen many months from now. the in limbo which i have been faced with has wrapped itself into a burrito of pure joy and has thrust itself down my throat so i can taste its pleasantness. mmmmmmmmm freedom! the subtitles constantly surrounding me would now say 'food affects this fool in moments of hygienic disintegration; for he has eaten like crap this day and now healthy food brings bodily melodies of thankfulness.' but can you really call bacon ceasar salad healthy? better than bear claws cereal and anything else from my for fun job. the tracers in my brain tell me to write something worthwhile and poetic, like 'the piercing green light fought its way to my eyes through the harrowing darkness to display a message of hope' except the message is just go... theres hope in that if you think green lights lead you to anything more than other green lights. WHOA i just blew my own freaking mind. my ears are bleeding and i'm low on q-tips. drats, my salad is gone an now i'm homesick and miss my brothers.
i had an odd craving today... it was for beer. JUDAS! i screamed at my body.
i had an odd craving today... it was for beer. JUDAS! i screamed at my body.
May 27, 2008
le ninety UN
its a mystery when my timebomb of successful nomadedness will surface. no sadness will trigger it, just curiosity and resources coming together in a cluster-spank of perfection. hawaii? that'd be sweet. anywhere warm. dallas gave me a taste of what was necessary for nighttime happiness. (up to this point let it be known any word that starts with 'W' must MUST must be pronounced the same way whiskey was pronounced by the hero of this modern saturday, andy samberg) and may it also be known my ambition for kidnapping has once again realigned with the non-violent measures of anyone who dares take more than 3 days off work. you will join me like it or not, preferably like so i don't end up with a grump. your allowed grumpyness for 3 hours, then pure joy must illuminate your face. kidnapping isn't the right word. i'd think trickery or mischief. be warned if you come to help me move. i've entered into cahoots with several members of the roofie club in detroit and they have hooked me up large. california. the visitation of my birthplace and dwelling place of my brothers from different mothers but their mother is the same as each others. its magical. (guster will remain number one road trip music for 3 am (AND you will hear me sing.)) because sometimes i choose to be awesome. theres intense freedom with nothing concrete. its all wet... babies harden my concrete. no babies. for at least... 5 years unless an accident happens. wedlock only. i'm going to go slam dunk blankets upon cold people.
May 26, 2008
dude i barely remember writing that
madness! chaos! unashamed love! giftedness... the clamor of my mind aches against the sounds of the future. i want to be a nomad.
May 4, 2008
toilets make intense music
consorting with the enemy eh? have at 'er. i know in the end he'll throw the rock that'll break your window of reflection and the shards will fall and pierce whatever dreams you had. i'm sick of seeing vanity everywhere i look. if i could destroy one thing right now it'd be anything shiny. maybe if we were all blind we'd know it doesn't matter at all what we look like. we'd dress to be comfortable, not so people would know what kind of status we hold or the significance of the event we were going too. there'd be a lot more cuddling and a lot less worry over what matches and who's set of fashion ideals are the most correct and up to date. black socks are for suckers. sure, if its your passion, go for it. enjoy it. live it up in the way you love. don't look at other people differently because they don't share your 'taste' in the fabric that keeps us from being naked. Jesus was purple ya'll.
Apr 29, 2008
that wasn't my turn to say nothing.
i just heard someone sneeze. it was amazing. well not even, but i heard it. the strangeness of rest has come upon me. i must kill it. texas woods. the summer hasn't even began and the itch to be busy is scraping at my productive person. i didn't crush these noodles well enough... splashes of fake chicken... the slip. that was two thirds ridiculous. the stage i'm setting myself up for is not the one i had intended... but thats ok because where i end up is not up to me. i've determined my goal in life is to be a TOOL. i'm to be utilized and put to work where i am needed. my safety nets are merely beverages.
Apr 21, 2008
high fives on trial!
Pros:
-they make you look mad cool when successful
-its a solid relationship building tool
-no words need to be spoken
-strangers excell with high fives
Cons:
-when you miss, you look like an idiot
-its dissmissive and friendships won't get any deeper because a high five is like a period at the end of a sentence that could've gone on
-can miscommunicate what the message should be (ie: 'i wish you a good day' could be percieved as 'your right, we should have sex')
-strangers hate high fives
my diagnosis: high fives are acceptable, but not encouraged if you are looking for something deeper than an associate in life. celebration is mandatory high five time.
-they make you look mad cool when successful
-its a solid relationship building tool
-no words need to be spoken
-strangers excell with high fives
Cons:
-when you miss, you look like an idiot
-its dissmissive and friendships won't get any deeper because a high five is like a period at the end of a sentence that could've gone on
-can miscommunicate what the message should be (ie: 'i wish you a good day' could be percieved as 'your right, we should have sex')
-strangers hate high fives
my diagnosis: high fives are acceptable, but not encouraged if you are looking for something deeper than an associate in life. celebration is mandatory high five time.
i... i like lists...
LIKE!
the things that MATTER.. for real. (characteristics assumed= follower of Christ/smokin hot)
(in a very kinda (not) specific order)(10)
Creativity -> self explanatory. includes intelligent. must... (wittiness is key)
Passionate -> goals, aspirations, dreams. extreme longing for everything holy.
Spontaneous -> 'lets go somewhere.' 'ok.' bedtimes are for suckers.
Un-Child-proof -> meltage (of the heart) caused by kids and/or babies.
Laughability -> laughs at me. then makes me laugh. (see 'wittiness is key')
Soulful -> in it. feels with it. lives for it.
Family Valued -> knows what it takes. has a good example.
Crazy -> does whatever, down for whatever. not. normal.
Compassionate -> loves for loves sake.
Active -> discin baby. discin. (in my sketchbook there's a little heart and underneath it says 'and joyous')
must also partake in stupid bets with me. ie: i'll bet i can finish this tray of strawberries before you can finish your tray of poptarts.
am i picky?
and the hate list...
boxes of social comparison. - statuses, 'race', income....
ism's. - consumerism, racism, capitalism, political...ism....
junk email. - its just pure crap....
money. - satans deathgrip....
body gloves or 5 stars. - they freaking hurt.... like real bad....
accessories. - things that obstruct the smoothness of skin. . <- see? gross....
wet socks. - no... no high fives ever....
embarrassment. - falling in public, but having it actually hurt. scaring someone who doesn't get scared. smelling bad or getting owned at something i'm good at.
redwings. - vile, disgusting, extremely talented.
smiles!!! (this is not a part of the hate list, just a goodbye, such as 'cheers!' or 'laters!' but with a british accent (the laters, not smiles. (pronounced lay(delay)-eers)))
the things that MATTER.. for real. (characteristics assumed= follower of Christ/smokin hot)
(in a very kinda (not) specific order)(10)
Creativity -> self explanatory. includes intelligent. must... (wittiness is key)
Passionate -> goals, aspirations, dreams. extreme longing for everything holy.
Spontaneous -> 'lets go somewhere.' 'ok.' bedtimes are for suckers.
Un-Child-proof -> meltage (of the heart) caused by kids and/or babies.
Laughability -> laughs at me. then makes me laugh. (see 'wittiness is key')
Soulful -> in it. feels with it. lives for it.
Family Valued -> knows what it takes. has a good example.
Crazy -> does whatever, down for whatever. not. normal.
Compassionate -> loves for loves sake.
Active -> discin baby. discin. (in my sketchbook there's a little heart and underneath it says 'and joyous')
must also partake in stupid bets with me. ie: i'll bet i can finish this tray of strawberries before you can finish your tray of poptarts.
am i picky?
and the hate list...
boxes of social comparison. - statuses, 'race', income....
ism's. - consumerism, racism, capitalism, political...ism....
junk email. - its just pure crap....
money. - satans deathgrip....
body gloves or 5 stars. - they freaking hurt.... like real bad....
accessories. - things that obstruct the smoothness of skin. . <- see? gross....
wet socks. - no... no high fives ever....
embarrassment. - falling in public, but having it actually hurt. scaring someone who doesn't get scared. smelling bad or getting owned at something i'm good at.
redwings. - vile, disgusting, extremely talented.
smiles!!! (this is not a part of the hate list, just a goodbye, such as 'cheers!' or 'laters!' but with a british accent (the laters, not smiles. (pronounced lay(delay)-eers)))
Apr 11, 2008
For my bro chris
there once was a man named Chile. (yes like the country, but he resented it with all his passion because he did not desire to be affiliated with it.) He liked to golf. (not just liked, the remainder of his passion revolved around the next time he would golf.) at nights he would nary bat an eye at sleep. (for he was thinking about his hatred for the country of chile and all the golf he would play once he changed his name). but he didn't change his name. (because he was a coward. a coward.) he sucked it up at went to chile. (and he had an ok time.) he fell in love and had several babies, 78% if whom where planned. (if only, he thought, babies were hatched instead.)
but it was not the case.
but it was not the case.
.com-
my main intention was to get some thoughts to fuel my anger. really, i do beleive its my holy discontent. but with that being said, what can i do otehr than voice my opinion thats been shared time and time again? and my opinion on YOUR opinion isn't gonna do jack either, because my opinion of your opinion could very well match your opinion of my opinion. only God the lord and creator of the UNIVERSE has the power to dramatically change a heart. i'm never going to stop trying, i'm just going to find another avenue for it. something new. something different. now that everything has been done, the only way to suprise someone is to be obscene or to be unique. redundant arguments aside, i could go on and on about the injustices of the world and how we should all mellow out an all that other nonsense. my thinking is, and opinion is just an opinion and has absolutely no validity to anyone other than the person with the opinon, if it is true to the heart of that person. surface opinions that change arn't true and secure opinons, only grass patches that cover up crap to make the whole lawn look better. i think everyone is overrated. i also think that everyone is beautiful, and the pursuit of beauty is the one thing in this world that really matters. i can rant and rave about whatever but that won't allow you to open up another facet of your imagination unless your open too it. my scattered thoughts are only scattered without the fundamental base of who and what i am...
Apr 9, 2008
let it be known that man night is on hiatus for two weeks
further down the road the competition is blazing. no one wants to join but i don't have a choice.
whoaaa people putting the olympic torch out? boycotting the olympics?! thats radical. i'm excited for the controversy that happens when people care enough to crap things up. its a glorious spectacle. their popeye moments. their time to say heyyy hey hey hey. stopit.
distraction.
catacalysmic forces out of my control but under my intelligence. steve nash, gandalf, and rosa parks were ALL JEDI. don't EVEN act like i'm making that up. i have explicit reasons and justifications for all my accusations. marc is sasquatch.
germany.
my suggestion box is unseen, however always open to suggestions. its open like my heart and the difference must be that my heart only listens to what it wants. the suggestions are merely judged and laid aside in piles labelled friend, dissertationization, and mcguyver.
feist.
is hot but i'm not a fan of her music. starbucks once told me it was good. my ears took on the characteristics of my heart and made the choice for themselves. shallow, and pedantic. not my words. not words with anything even resembling the sound or look of leslie feist. junos whoo.
pure.
crap without twigs. blueberries without being surrounded by baked blubber. pizza after a good run washed down with icecream sandwhiches. good night. not as good morning. equally good evening and always a good life. the boggs only belong to those who respect them enough.
whoaaa people putting the olympic torch out? boycotting the olympics?! thats radical. i'm excited for the controversy that happens when people care enough to crap things up. its a glorious spectacle. their popeye moments. their time to say heyyy hey hey hey. stopit.
distraction.
catacalysmic forces out of my control but under my intelligence. steve nash, gandalf, and rosa parks were ALL JEDI. don't EVEN act like i'm making that up. i have explicit reasons and justifications for all my accusations. marc is sasquatch.
germany.
my suggestion box is unseen, however always open to suggestions. its open like my heart and the difference must be that my heart only listens to what it wants. the suggestions are merely judged and laid aside in piles labelled friend, dissertationization, and mcguyver.
feist.
is hot but i'm not a fan of her music. starbucks once told me it was good. my ears took on the characteristics of my heart and made the choice for themselves. shallow, and pedantic. not my words. not words with anything even resembling the sound or look of leslie feist. junos whoo.
pure.
crap without twigs. blueberries without being surrounded by baked blubber. pizza after a good run washed down with icecream sandwhiches. good night. not as good morning. equally good evening and always a good life. the boggs only belong to those who respect them enough.
Apr 6, 2008
here it comes here it comes here it comes
motherfreakingfrisbee!!!!! DISC!!!!!! FLYING PLASTIC!!!!!!! heres the deal. i need you. all of you. well, 13 of you. 6 girls 7 guys would be IDEAL but not totally necessary. as long as you can run for two hours we only need 7 people. if this could happen i'd gladly captain us an ultimate team! thing is you gotta be passionate... and kinda in the money cuz it costs money. but its so much more than pickup. oh man. (literally drooling. sick but necessary) there is an A league i'd be down for (if you we or us are super bold and pretty decent) which is travel an competitive, or a B league which is intermediate. both would be sick killer amazing fun, so hop on this with me. all of you who enjoy outside and running and fun. i'm sad that people wear cleats, cuz barefoot is the way to go... but i'd subscribe my feet to some clinging feet. hopefully you will too.
http://calgaryultimate.org/
make a profile, hopefully mebe yes you will play with me. if not i'll have some other new people to play with, but i'd rather own them with you by my side. excellent chance to get in amazing shape (nudge nudge eh eh?!?!?! me too.. uuuuugh but yes.) for serious. frisbee has surpassed even my love for baseball and hockey when it comes to playing. this is huge for me. see? i just wrote a whole page of worthlessness because i'm so excited. now i won't be able to sleep. for real. but its ok because i can go potentially play frisbee!!!!!!!! this is gonna get spiritual.
happy sigh.
http://calgaryultimate.org/
make a profile, hopefully mebe yes you will play with me. if not i'll have some other new people to play with, but i'd rather own them with you by my side. excellent chance to get in amazing shape (nudge nudge eh eh?!?!?! me too.. uuuuugh but yes.) for serious. frisbee has surpassed even my love for baseball and hockey when it comes to playing. this is huge for me. see? i just wrote a whole page of worthlessness because i'm so excited. now i won't be able to sleep. for real. but its ok because i can go potentially play frisbee!!!!!!!! this is gonna get spiritual.
happy sigh.
Mar 31, 2008
i don't ever want to be associated with the word 'proper'
a few things i have noticed in the past ... life.
-the worst thing to step in with shoes on is fresh poop (species not important) then gravel.
-the worst thing to step in with socks on is cooked jasmine rice.
-the worst thing to step in with bare feet is a needle. on a syringe. filled with cancer. and sour milk. now every needle YOU step on won't be as bad. your welcome.
-greasy fried rice i make goes through me in 5 minutes after consumption. its like clockwork. and its disgusting. butter only from here on out.
-any sort of 'planning' is always shy of fun compared to pure spontaneity. unless its planned GOOD.
-i have a bad back
-stealing is wrong. but fun and challenging for the wits.
-swearing for 80% of the time is completely unnecessary and makes you sound like a dummy. it must only be used when appropriately angry, or in an unexpected moment of hilarity (ie: reminiscent sigh... fucking tornadoes...) and must never ever be used when you stutter.
-stuttering is funny. but not if its you. or if its actually a problem.
-beer is a simile of piss.
-my biggest fear is being alone.
-my most ridiculous fear is seeing a ghost.
-my biggest growing fear is sterility and the inability to brew a child.
-sweatpants on females are amazing in any situation.
-no underwear and sweatpants usually makes for an incredible day.
-tuesday, sucks. tuesday night, rules.
-capitalizing letters is not for me. nor is grammar.
-i believe i am above the rules of the english language. aces.
-my wife must, or have the desire to, snowboard, have/want tattoos, and have no fear of me doing stupid things.
-all my kids will be accidents.
-i still don't care for drunk people.
-michigan still sucks
-green spray paint does not smell like grass.
-i doubt my ability to ever grow a respectable beard.
-my desire for a respectable beard will never go away.
-'woody' is a funny name and/or word.
-girls who talk about extremely 'uncomfortable' things with me deserve high fives. i'm a fan of openness.
-i have to get up very early and am very disappointed in myself that i am still awake.
-sleeping will never get old.
-i'm a closet OCD with several things.
-i don't know what i'm going to be doing with my life and that is super exciting to me.
-the worst thing to step in with shoes on is fresh poop (species not important) then gravel.
-the worst thing to step in with socks on is cooked jasmine rice.
-the worst thing to step in with bare feet is a needle. on a syringe. filled with cancer. and sour milk. now every needle YOU step on won't be as bad. your welcome.
-greasy fried rice i make goes through me in 5 minutes after consumption. its like clockwork. and its disgusting. butter only from here on out.
-any sort of 'planning' is always shy of fun compared to pure spontaneity. unless its planned GOOD.
-i have a bad back
-stealing is wrong. but fun and challenging for the wits.
-swearing for 80% of the time is completely unnecessary and makes you sound like a dummy. it must only be used when appropriately angry, or in an unexpected moment of hilarity (ie: reminiscent sigh... fucking tornadoes...) and must never ever be used when you stutter.
-stuttering is funny. but not if its you. or if its actually a problem.
-beer is a simile of piss.
-my biggest fear is being alone.
-my most ridiculous fear is seeing a ghost.
-my biggest growing fear is sterility and the inability to brew a child.
-sweatpants on females are amazing in any situation.
-no underwear and sweatpants usually makes for an incredible day.
-tuesday, sucks. tuesday night, rules.
-capitalizing letters is not for me. nor is grammar.
-i believe i am above the rules of the english language. aces.
-my wife must, or have the desire to, snowboard, have/want tattoos, and have no fear of me doing stupid things.
-all my kids will be accidents.
-i still don't care for drunk people.
-michigan still sucks
-green spray paint does not smell like grass.
-i doubt my ability to ever grow a respectable beard.
-my desire for a respectable beard will never go away.
-'woody' is a funny name and/or word.
-girls who talk about extremely 'uncomfortable' things with me deserve high fives. i'm a fan of openness.
-i have to get up very early and am very disappointed in myself that i am still awake.
-sleeping will never get old.
-i'm a closet OCD with several things.
-i don't know what i'm going to be doing with my life and that is super exciting to me.
Mar 28, 2008
amazing
music sounds amazing when the soul is content and all issues have been put aside. I've been given these gifts so that i may rejoice in the streets and release my love for everything good. i'm well taken care of.
just because.
devices. tools based upon obstructions in the human psychotic mental sphere of inhabitance. the rebel runaways decipher what was left of a society meshed together with passion and patriotism. the banister stricken with lewd remarks of injustice, while the poles wither and die beneath the weight of tyranny. bottles filled with liquid hate illuminating the streetlights with yellow bits of injustice, their particles clinging to the pure and innocent. these gray days, filled with compelling desire to ensnare what will not last beyond what fire can destroy. the buttons no longer work and anarchy is whispered amongst the lips of the half living. torment and destruction dwelling amidst the rapid rushing winds of futility. love lost is no longer had when all you have is what was left. superimposed sadness on a base level of dementia.
puppies and rainbows and kittens crossed with bunnies and baby foxes. serendipitous to the listening ear, only the lines crossed above form the perfection grown in our hearts. one am is the best time to fall in love. live attains beauty in all its avenues, and facets of purity and righteousness collide in a glorious eruption of magnificence. the purpose behind what life feels is compelled to exist without ramification of dilation or rebuttal. answers to know one but the one who knows all, and the questions scatter among the happiness grown in droves of brotherly community. the plateau became the mountain top, and the bottom became the base for all that is holy. exuberant in youthful longing and justified in mature pursuit. the only end will be a glorious one.
erhmm, metaphor and explosive mind colour aside, i'm bleeding and its late. seems i typed so hard my nose burst with passion. or it could be the sneeze into my steering wheel several days ago which has not clogged. the questions i must answer myself from my own curiosity.
puppies and rainbows and kittens crossed with bunnies and baby foxes. serendipitous to the listening ear, only the lines crossed above form the perfection grown in our hearts. one am is the best time to fall in love. live attains beauty in all its avenues, and facets of purity and righteousness collide in a glorious eruption of magnificence. the purpose behind what life feels is compelled to exist without ramification of dilation or rebuttal. answers to know one but the one who knows all, and the questions scatter among the happiness grown in droves of brotherly community. the plateau became the mountain top, and the bottom became the base for all that is holy. exuberant in youthful longing and justified in mature pursuit. the only end will be a glorious one.
erhmm, metaphor and explosive mind colour aside, i'm bleeding and its late. seems i typed so hard my nose burst with passion. or it could be the sneeze into my steering wheel several days ago which has not clogged. the questions i must answer myself from my own curiosity.
how i feel
love love love love love love love love my fingers are now familiar with the muscle memory of love love love love love love love love and its all i want to think about. screw money. forget anger. doubt nothing. 1:48am is a time of the happy mind. sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep
Mar 26, 2008
loves to get slapped in the face
with realistic visions of what i SHOULD be doing! attacking sinful actions that society deems acceptable! no sir/ma'am, unnacceptable. the extra n is for NO! specifically abortion. when i stumbled upon a nice quiet evening of worshiping my God and hoping for a nice trite message of salvation and forgiveness i get tripped over a presentation the life ending creation (ha, funny, life ending AND creation right next to each other. how sincerely ironic.) that is so epidemically existing so untouched. as a spectator to the miracle of life-now-ended-and-splashed-upon-plastic-to-be-thrown-out-like-garbage, i was doubting my place of mind to handle such a message and started to gear my mind elsewhere to a place it would not be troubled by such controversial issues but rather surrounded by metaphorical daffodils and actual pie. but like michael clarke duncan in 'the island' i was latched onto in the shins by a grappling gun and convicted beyond what i've thought to be 'convicted' about. being a visual person, and a person of perceived reason, images of dead babies had taken the fun out of those jokes and standaside issues i'd been a spectator of for my whole life. now it has to be decided if its just 'wrong' of if its now 'incontestable' and what to do with my holy discontent.
i have ideas out my rude parts and i know its going to cause discussion and i don't care if i piss people off. yeah, love has its place, and love is all i am meaning, but spanking is also love. i can't handle some things being acceptable. thats 105 000 people i won't be able to high five. i like that Jesus entered the world yesterday and went through the motions of being born the same way we all did.
i have ideas out my rude parts and i know its going to cause discussion and i don't care if i piss people off. yeah, love has its place, and love is all i am meaning, but spanking is also love. i can't handle some things being acceptable. thats 105 000 people i won't be able to high five. i like that Jesus entered the world yesterday and went through the motions of being born the same way we all did.
Mar 24, 2008
gingerbread figure
the feminists finally got to my cookies. the poor gingerbread males couldn't stand up to the pressure of milk and angsty political correctness advocates that happen to be bakers. it happens often when a stick is forced so far up somebodies bum that the term 'man' seems to be taking things too far when a cookie has no physical showings of genitalia or specific references to a sex, race or species. so something must be done! lets not call it a man because someone will get offended. lets go ahead and not call it what it is, because the rest of the gingerbread population will get angry that they are not included in the classification and are therefore a minority getting hurt from not being appropriated. and men are dirty so surely the must not be cookies.
i'm going to go make trees generic so they don't come off so phallic. stupid proud trees.
i'm going to go make trees generic so they don't come off so phallic. stupid proud trees.
Mar 22, 2008
guy ritchie is too advanced for this time
at least last night. the over complexities made it had to follow... and it was way more fun when ameicans weren't involved. andre benjamin is one cool dude. revolve. watch it. the contract has been signed minus one, and coherency in development isn't as essential as the 8 nutrients in my cereal this morning. brotherhood. wee wee check at the door. in the end it'll be responsible for several things, an at the same time the causes for celebration in others. there's no need for financial gain anymore.. this would only further spontaneous activity on to new york. return ticket questionable. were at a good age.
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm early 20's.
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm early 20's.
Mar 13, 2008
news. think about it
sometimes i get the urge to do things to mildly disrupt the social flow of anything. my rebellion strikes when no longer do i feel lazy and have felt mildly productive recently. destruction isn't really a fancy in this mood, that would come after i feel i've been wronged or when i'm hungry and bored. this mood, oh this mood, i'm not bored, i'm excited, for life, for things to come, for the look on someones face when they've been toyed with enough to be slightly annoyed. i feel creative and witty, with a bold sense of adventure and childish ambition. then i have food, and all these feelings go away.
Mar 10, 2008
curious rebellion
i was entering a bathroom in tim hortons when i realized, oh my oh yes, i'm in a cage! a coop! a small frame that restricts my view of the outside world! a porcelain prison, carved out in an addicted niche in society. i don't want to pee in a cage anymore! i want to be out in the woods, the world, like a puppy, curious about everything, and when the knowledge has been found, they pee on that knowledge, letting it know that it belongs to them. its not a matter of ownership, simply belonging. i want to make my mark in the forest, then go hunt a bear. not to kill the bear, no no, but to ride the bear. tame the bear. then apprehend his family, and have an army of bears at my disposal. not that i will dispose of them, but if need be i could substitute a wolf or family of fox. my army would be called a troop more likely, as it would not exceed a dozen but not be short of ten. we would play war games with the beavers, and make them feel awkward about their funny teeth. they bears would build monuments of me, and i would be king of the forest. my uprising will be cut short though, by the weasels of the trees, weasels. my holiday would end the same way as it began, by someone peeing on someone else's things. all this happened in 27 seconds as i stared at the grout between the tiles in my tiny prison. then i watched my hands drink the water i washed them with. it was intense.
cue the warm lighting
when it was an issue, you addressed it with the most amazing thing i've ever seen. sure science can tell us exactly what it is, but it seems so much more important that instead of analyzing it we appreciate it. science goes on only to seamlessly prove further and further in my mind of your eternal existance. your craft is everywhere i see, everything i touch and smell. observation should be enough to prove theory. i can't deny your fingerprints. i can't deny what you've called me to do. everything i struggle with is nothing in comparison to the grace that my struggles allow. i can only go so far in my own power, and beyond that is useless. i wouldn't call it dependence... the word i need hasn't been invented or recognized yet. dependence only goes as far as life, and my need for you is greater than life or death.
Mar 4, 2008
Vengeance!
bummer and not so farts! i have almost spilt milk at the bottom of not my bed. intel core duo processor INSIDE says no. a fudgewink and a hopskipple to the left. both words, google THAT crap madamsir. Man night is supremo. shock and awe, its evolved into something else. pushing boundaries is what we need to do, buttons to be pushed, in a non-homosexual way. all for one and one for punishment. or embarrassment. or personal growth. or fun. or groundbreaking freedom from fear. and i. not death for breakfasts, but cereal for brunch.
crazyness abroad, poultry pushed. aside. MAN karen! she's such a DOUCHEBAG! clearly is whats on me mind. not mine to own, but the dmancoook. crazyness abroad.
life is good. life is growth. life is finding out whats wrong with yourself then bettering yourself to better fit what you are intended for. life is searching, finding, losing, and rebuilding. life isn't simple. life is life OI!
each day i figure more out, and each day i choose whether to respect what i've learned. for the most part i'm good. ish. for the other half i'm choosing what destroys me and what keeps me going. theres lots of crap i could cut out. lots of crap i should cut out. some crap i will cut out. i'm sick of the meaningless garbage i sneeze onto paper or screen or canvas. but i can't get rid of it, because its what i am for a good chunk. not garbage, per say, BUT i am not a chunk of gold either. yet. silver soon because greatness is not yet attainable. life is still too singular and patient as a waiter waiting for hungry customers so that he can come out and serve and do exactly what he is there for. all for glory. i just want to glorify Jesus. how the crap can i do that when i wont' open my heart? no! game over. heart open. Jesus enter, satan leave. move on to the next struggle. because waiting for life to be tame will end up in a long boring waiting life.
crazyness abroad, poultry pushed. aside. MAN karen! she's such a DOUCHEBAG! clearly is whats on me mind. not mine to own, but the dmancoook. crazyness abroad.
life is good. life is growth. life is finding out whats wrong with yourself then bettering yourself to better fit what you are intended for. life is searching, finding, losing, and rebuilding. life isn't simple. life is life OI!
each day i figure more out, and each day i choose whether to respect what i've learned. for the most part i'm good. ish. for the other half i'm choosing what destroys me and what keeps me going. theres lots of crap i could cut out. lots of crap i should cut out. some crap i will cut out. i'm sick of the meaningless garbage i sneeze onto paper or screen or canvas. but i can't get rid of it, because its what i am for a good chunk. not garbage, per say, BUT i am not a chunk of gold either. yet. silver soon because greatness is not yet attainable. life is still too singular and patient as a waiter waiting for hungry customers so that he can come out and serve and do exactly what he is there for. all for glory. i just want to glorify Jesus. how the crap can i do that when i wont' open my heart? no! game over. heart open. Jesus enter, satan leave. move on to the next struggle. because waiting for life to be tame will end up in a long boring waiting life.
Feb 28, 2008
Feb 17, 2008
just take the candy neo
i was picking up a glass for some tasty milk when it so decided it wanted to be juggled then thrown to the floor. seconds ticked away like they were hours and i watched the slender glass flutter through the air like a butterfly with a rubber band wrapped around it and then watched as its new-to-flight delicacy came face to face with the floor in a miraculous explosion of empty air and shards of its own material. and i thought to myself, that was the most beautiful thing i've seen all day. after my feet had been bandaged and the blood had been cleaned from the notsoshiney white floor, i pondered why i found such beauty in such destruction. it was an accident yes, but i was not even the least bit upset that the glass decided to prematurely leave my hand and sail away to its glass like afterlife. i was in fact, overjoyed to see it in such slow motion, anticipating the moment of the crash with every ounce of attention my body could muster, until at last oh at last it broke against the ground and my thirst for destruction was quenched. i think if i had purposefully taken the glass out to be broken instead of drank from, i would not have endured the anticipation or gained the satisfaction. how sad it seemed to me that happiness could flow from the smallest accident. it was then i reaffirmed in my head i want all my children to be accidents. happy wonderful accidents of joy. because i've come to realize that planning is bogus. for anything to be truly and genuinely enjoyed it has (or should, because has is very absolute and this may not fit everyone but it sure as deep cold fits me) to be spontaneous and appreciated for its unexpectedness, because if it is expected, and what you expected is exactly what occurs, the satisfaction would merely be satisfying. not overwhelmingly awestrikingly i cannot believe i just did that kinda thing (i mean again for me. some people get such delight in plans coming full swing into full successfulness, and get their jollies off that). i take pride (oh snap sin...) in being different. and learning that beauty is the only thing that matters. it encompasses all that is right. moments of beauty. love. friendship. the colour red. all traits of beauty. as it was then as it is now, (and by that i mean like way back when before technology weakened our primal senses and made us slaves to the things we create, where and when a man loved a woman he LOVED her (not just the sex, but you know. craved being with her in everything he does, wanting her to BE his life instead of joining in his (not 50-50 but 100-100))) so all things hopefully go on to remain beautiful.
Feb 15, 2008
a letter to the people in charge of me going to australia.
Australia is a place I have always wanted to visit. For around 8 of the past 9 years of my life, it has been the ideal place for me to relocate to when life got hard and I needed an out. Plan B, as I called it, was my way of dealing with the world when I didn’t care anymore. Not like this has happened, but with ACAD I have simply found an easier way to travel than succumbing to the pressures of being a post-teen who is afraid of actually growing up. My grades are not (yet) up to par, and as soon as they definitely-will be, the only thing preventing me from going to Australia should be my fickle mind on the matter. I’ve grown used to living at ACAD, and I fear taking a semester away from it will erase the sense of community that I have come to love and care for. On the other hand, knowing that this school will still be here when I get back, and the fact that I wouldn’t be going forever give me console in deciding that this program would be a great idea. As I have realized, plans change really quickly in art school. My desire to get a degree in design through the VC program has drastically changed into a pursuit of a BFA in painting, and accepting a potential lower income and largely a less dependable source for that income. My goals on this matter have still remained the same, though are now focused on a different path. Skateboard snowboard surfboard or any other ride able board has always had a special place within my artistic passion. I have painted several skateboards and long boards and have no reason to stop doing so. To be able to do these things for a living, and be able to sustain a family in reasonable comfort has been my dream for several years. I have several options being right next to the Rocky Mountains with the snowboarding front, as well as skateboarding and long boarding. I feel like being in Australia would allow me to observe and get involved in the surfing side of my dreams, as Alberta is dry as a desert when it comes to water related good times. Hopefully being right next to the ocean would provide an ideal avenue for me to explore my practice in a different setting. Goals and career aspirations aside, my personal philosophy in life is to ‘do’. Do everything you can while you can before it’s too late. I feel like a good deal of life, if not all, is spent waiting. We wait in high school to graduate to college; we wait in college for a degree that will give us the chance to wait for a career. Once the career is established, we wait to retire and when we retire we wait to die. Not like death is on the horizon for me, but at this age of 21 I have no real strings holding me back from doing anything. No career, no established ‘home’, and especially no relationship or wee ones giving me an extra dose of responsibility. I’m at a prime age of exploration, and providing nothing holds me back, the mobility program gives me the means to do life in a different way. I love Calgary. I love Canada. I love pretty much anywhere I’m at. If allowed to do so, I’ll love living in Australia. If I go, amazing; if not, that’s just as well because another opportunity to travel will arise. It’s up to me to get my grades in line with the standards that make me eligible. It’s up to you and God to allow me this opportunity to experience something new.
oh yes. pure corn. but no crap.
oh yes. pure corn. but no crap.
Feb 14, 2008
a super sappy foem.
lets join this freefall, you'n I. driving steadily towards the default grass covered hills, leaving nothing behind and expecting nothing in return. here is where we will be. our existance will resonate off the hollow vaulted above into something we cannot create by ourselves. alone in the corner is the only way to express what must be expressed. some sappy love song will play but it will be ours, ours to listen to and cherish and remember. the only gifts we are able to give is ourselves to each other, and nothing material could compare.
Feb 13, 2008
a nice thought.
one day i saw a dude. this dude was moving. he was moving in a way that made me jealous. he moved in a way that made me know his soul was bein tweaked and he was responding. through his headphones i heard the dull thump of a beat dropped several times too low, but low enough to captivate this dude into submission. his body tossed like his ears heard and his soul grabbed. it didn't even matter if this song was the greatest masterpiece ever written and recorded, or the biggest piece of crap ever conceived then pooped onto page. this dude loved it an didn't care who saw him lovin it. it was inspiring. often times at church i see people worshiping the same way. moving, flowing, feeling. doesn't matter what people see or what they choose to do. something so sacred is not meant to be disturbed or messed with. the line between feeling and listening is so delicate. when something is gettin in the way of the music it is soon to be forgotten. mmmmm.
Feb 10, 2008
my name is always there, waiting to eat my password and gain approval
for entry! boot camp is the only way to fly... options of previous engagements have been met with fruitful future. wall flowers are better than douche bags. you think your smart, but still your caught in the how. with your answers to your own questions you'll live a lot longer but doubly less satisfied. i'm glad there are people that are amazing at doing such stupid things. freckles are as cute as crinkled noses. i'm going to high five donald miller. commercials are the answer to the how do i become a total tool. unless they are funny. in which case respect to those who understand humour is the highest form of communication. even for chocolate. the number 1 outrageous moment in television history is a big bag of suck.
enough of observations and pre-meditated beefs and sunken messages of lamentation.
i went snowboarding. twice in the past two days. thats right, once, EACH day, for TWO days! only capslock can convince my own self that i actally mean my happiness. i still fear speed, and air, but everytime it gets more and more fun. so. its been decided. i'm running away to alaska, but on the way getting run over by a car, getting a huge settlement and spending the rest of my life on a mountain snowboarding. then coming home. then when i wake up, i realize i'm an artist, and everychance i get to snowboard i should take, because its not always i can race down a mountain. i wonder if God gets worried when we do things like enjoy gravity. is he like a parent, anxious about their childs newfound enjoyment in running across the street blindfolded? or does he get excited, like an physics-challenged buddy egging you on to go faster higher flippier. i like to think neither, but that when we are happy with what he's allowed us to do, he's happy. long as were not pissing away our soul doing so. we can hope. at the least. i like fire. maybe i should pursue a career in it. you think? mebe? flip who knows. i think, that, i have tons of time to decide. forever. but not actually.
enough of observations and pre-meditated beefs and sunken messages of lamentation.
i went snowboarding. twice in the past two days. thats right, once, EACH day, for TWO days! only capslock can convince my own self that i actally mean my happiness. i still fear speed, and air, but everytime it gets more and more fun. so. its been decided. i'm running away to alaska, but on the way getting run over by a car, getting a huge settlement and spending the rest of my life on a mountain snowboarding. then coming home. then when i wake up, i realize i'm an artist, and everychance i get to snowboard i should take, because its not always i can race down a mountain. i wonder if God gets worried when we do things like enjoy gravity. is he like a parent, anxious about their childs newfound enjoyment in running across the street blindfolded? or does he get excited, like an physics-challenged buddy egging you on to go faster higher flippier. i like to think neither, but that when we are happy with what he's allowed us to do, he's happy. long as were not pissing away our soul doing so. we can hope. at the least. i like fire. maybe i should pursue a career in it. you think? mebe? flip who knows. i think, that, i have tons of time to decide. forever. but not actually.
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