a FB note wouldn't do right now.

he's got red on him, and i see it, and now its on me too. (oh yes, its a miss off.)

i haven't any complaints about my current roommates.. i love them very much. i do however miss marc. a lot. he called today, and it scared me cuz i didn't realize how much i missed him until i heard his voice. threw me on a good loop. taken aback? oh yes i was. i scored 3 goals for you marc. i miss losing arguments... i don't learn anything when i win. or if i don't have any. and i justify things in my head by letting them stay unexposed and thriving wildly in the darkness. i miss the lack of tv... movies won over everything, and if not movies... the hour would always suffice well enough to pass us into sleep worthy mental awareness. oh strombo... i miss damn good high fives. i can't wait for the 100+ hours he's in calgary and there will be freedom to do so much... and we'll do so little cuz thats all it takes. i also miss marc's insomnia, cuz if i were to wake up at 5 am an have a conversation, i could just see if he's watching college humour videos or not. sleep wasn't a necessity in our home...

i miss michigan. i miss complaining about it when i'm there, but actually loving it. i dont' just soso michigan, i have a heart for it and if i don't get my fill soon (which i will) mebe i'll just go punch dance it out in the woods. i miss my parents yelling at me for not being in bed at 4 am. i miss them moving on from yelling to accepting sighs of worry and mild intrigue. i also miss scaring my mom whenever she walks into a new room then having her try to avenge her fright only to be scared by me again. i miss my bed. i miss vacuuming every 2 days because nobody takes off their shoes in michigan. i miss saying 'hey, lets not go to detroit, and live a good 30- 50 years longer' even though i really do want to go to detroit.

i miss my BROTHERS. i have nobody to fight with. only bros can deliver that satisfaction. i don't have that blood bond with anyone else i know (good.. scientific reason for that... marc an jef come dang close though.) (so do a few others-) but nobody like eric and david. they are so different from me but as hochhalters we are also all so similar.. we all have awful luck with girls, we all have brat streaks, we all have the ability to make people smile... but mostly we all have awful luck with girls. just awful.

i'm going to miss calgary and everything contained in calgary.. and by everything i mean everyone, because 'things' mean far less to me now then they ever have. i am excited for the future. i want a girl. i want to be wreckless with career choices and have it work out in my favour, in an exciting way, preferably involving a car chase or heist or something of that nature. if we can throw fire in there somewhere, that'd be pretty sweet. i want... some effing frisbee. i want to get to know girl A better, an eventually get to the point of droppin L bombs upon one another. i don't even know her at all, and i think thats the best part. girl A can so easily be transfered into girl B or C or Z. but every guy knows girl A is the best choice.

i can't sleep. biologically, i blame myself for not waking up until half past noon... emotionally, i blame being 'missy' about absolutely everything and 'wanty' about everything else... mentally, i blame le soupy brain and fixation upon the ideal future. babies i say. there is so much in between, but dang! babies will be fun as everything. i've clearly deviated away from things i miss into things i want... i think i'm ok with that. i haven't just typed what i've been feeling in some time. like. 4-5 days. IF that was what i was feeling... yes. yes it was. not once have i mentioned NZ. that takes up about 84 percent of my mental activity these days. soo much exciting uncertainty.. new habitat... unnnnnnnnnggggggh i'm so excited.

i miss my cat. so much.