and a tie around my neck marks my new age of conformity...
i will have to compensate by wearing sweatpants for 3 weeks.
i have no beef with compensation.
Dec 29, 2008
i'm not crying...
and if i am crying... its because there's a friend of mine, who's dying, that's right dying. or maybe i've come across a problem i can only fix by changing myself... or perhaps because its 4am and i'm not all that tired and if i sleep its cuz its to pass time... or because 'its' isn't a word but i use it so very often... maybe if i hadn't of watched pearl harbor three seconds ago and witnessed the part where rafe says to danny 'your gonna be a daddy. i wasn't sposed to tell you..' an then danny goes 'no. you are' an then dies in rafes arms, then, then maybe i wouldn't be crying... some understanding on my families sake would make the tears flow less.. then again so would being less selfish and loving... crying a lot now because i'm thinking about calgary... but not crying actually no no because i'm going to NZ.. good thingsagonna happen there... i want to spill.
Dec 21, 2008
recipe for a good road trip.
ingredients:
-immense home/family sickness
-emily
-destination
-6 hours sleep (any less, you will die. (any more, you will also die.))
-little brother with magic sleep dust (one sprinkle and half hour of sleep will engage a solid 7 hour shift.)
-jedi powers
-a strong will to live.
instructions:
1) start your journey at 2 am, preferably after an exhausting night of several weepy goodbyes and a more perfect than perfect packing job.
2) put your junk in that box.
3) pretend you have more errands to run whilst still in the city and cherish was little time you have left.
4) venture into the darkness, expecting light flurries and rare traffic.
5) experience darkness, with suprising amount of traffic, and white knuckle conditions when passing large semi trucks.
6) continue for 5 hours.
7) pass on driving responsibility to the wee one, and use his special sleep dust to sleep soundly for 3-4 hours.
8) awaken with a thriving need to make the road 'your bitch'.
9) get made into a little girl by the road.
10) regain testosterone by driving with your nuts on the road, getting to the front of the line and not allowing stops for urination or food consumption.
11) get into trouble at the border because of suspicious little brother traveling activities. look suspicious because of your young age and probable association with marijuana.
12) strip search car.
13) flee with no reason to flee.
14) arrive in north dakota after 14 total hours of driving.
15) have dinner with grandparents of your fathers side.
16) drive to your mothers sisters house, enjoy some visiting and light tv watching and pass out at 8:30.
17) have the 2nd best sleep of your life and awaken after 8 hours to kick some road butt.
18) head towards the promise land of minnesota, rumoured to be better than ND.
19) enjoy the experience of realizing minnesota sucks just as much as ND, and revel in it for 11 hours of driving.
20) pass on responsibilities to the wee one, and again dose up on magic dust. (COCAINE!!!)
21) enjoy half hour of sleep, and 45 minutes of 45mph traffic in slush.
22) reach destination that was intended for instruction 19. eat arbys. but do not enjoy it.
23) regain driving responsibility, with renewed sense of wanting to be home and out of crappy driving weather.
24) make boasts of when you will be home. start off with the wee hours of morning, then get realistic when roads open up.
25) rub boast win into the face of the normally always correct wee one, and enjoy kicking 28 hours of driving in the face.
options to individualize recipe:
-music:
my top rated.
emery, and his sister, paramore
-ND speeding ticket for 10mph over limit, at $50.00. have a good day there, drive safe.
-mood swings
-mild hallucination/mindbending powers (use on road (bend to will))
-God
-possibly less stressful in the summertime.
-immense home/family sickness
-emily
-destination
-6 hours sleep (any less, you will die. (any more, you will also die.))
-little brother with magic sleep dust (one sprinkle and half hour of sleep will engage a solid 7 hour shift.)
-jedi powers
-a strong will to live.
instructions:
1) start your journey at 2 am, preferably after an exhausting night of several weepy goodbyes and a more perfect than perfect packing job.
2) put your junk in that box.
3) pretend you have more errands to run whilst still in the city and cherish was little time you have left.
4) venture into the darkness, expecting light flurries and rare traffic.
5) experience darkness, with suprising amount of traffic, and white knuckle conditions when passing large semi trucks.
6) continue for 5 hours.
7) pass on driving responsibility to the wee one, and use his special sleep dust to sleep soundly for 3-4 hours.
8) awaken with a thriving need to make the road 'your bitch'.
9) get made into a little girl by the road.
10) regain testosterone by driving with your nuts on the road, getting to the front of the line and not allowing stops for urination or food consumption.
11) get into trouble at the border because of suspicious little brother traveling activities. look suspicious because of your young age and probable association with marijuana.
12) strip search car.
13) flee with no reason to flee.
14) arrive in north dakota after 14 total hours of driving.
15) have dinner with grandparents of your fathers side.
16) drive to your mothers sisters house, enjoy some visiting and light tv watching and pass out at 8:30.
17) have the 2nd best sleep of your life and awaken after 8 hours to kick some road butt.
18) head towards the promise land of minnesota, rumoured to be better than ND.
19) enjoy the experience of realizing minnesota sucks just as much as ND, and revel in it for 11 hours of driving.
20) pass on responsibilities to the wee one, and again dose up on magic dust. (COCAINE!!!)
21) enjoy half hour of sleep, and 45 minutes of 45mph traffic in slush.
22) reach destination that was intended for instruction 19. eat arbys. but do not enjoy it.
23) regain driving responsibility, with renewed sense of wanting to be home and out of crappy driving weather.
24) make boasts of when you will be home. start off with the wee hours of morning, then get realistic when roads open up.
25) rub boast win into the face of the normally always correct wee one, and enjoy kicking 28 hours of driving in the face.
options to individualize recipe:
-music:
my top rated.
emery, and his sister, paramore
-ND speeding ticket for 10mph over limit, at $50.00. have a good day there, drive safe.
-mood swings
-mild hallucination/mindbending powers (use on road (bend to will))
-God
-possibly less stressful in the summertime.
Dec 17, 2008
tyler was
gonna write a huge imaginative blog describing his fear of not having his toothbrush whilst being whisked away onto a deserted island where attractive females probably roam. he instead wrote it as his facebook status. he was also gonna write about his fears of only having a few days left an not letting everyone know how much he will miss them, but how damn excited he is about getting to get out and do something different. but then he drank a beer and got quite sleepy. quite sleepy indeed... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz and in the morning his poor car emily was all fixed and better, having nothing been wrong with it in the first place, just a mild case of pre road trip jitters and shakes.
Dec 11, 2008
ramblings of a freed mind
do you ever get that feeling of dread, like walking down a hallway, except there is an impending darkness following you ever so closely you feel you have to run? that just happened, except it wasn't getting darker, and it was only a tall guy in a black hoodie behind me walking at the same pace. my mind cried rape though... i haven't ran out of sheer fear in at least... 2 months! it used to be a constant occasion when i'd be in a big empty building (lets say church) after an event (lets say church) and i'm the only one left and i forget my jacket behind.. so i must wander the childrens wing hallway in the darkness to find it. then something clicks in my head and i RUN to my jacket, sprint back to the doorway that leads to the actual darkness outside... makes me giggle when i picture myself bolting..
also, i am tall. i know this, because there is rarely an occasion when i get to see what the underside of someone's chin looks like. likewise for short people witnessing the dome of someones cranium. its a special day when the roles are reversed.
also, i am tall. i know this, because there is rarely an occasion when i get to see what the underside of someone's chin looks like. likewise for short people witnessing the dome of someones cranium. its a special day when the roles are reversed.
Dec 9, 2008
1455 word essay
-since my thought left me mid thought, i thought i'd update you on my thoughts-
after an effective 2 hour time kill between coming home eating supper and chatting up my roomies, setting up a playlist including the shins, radiohead, dispatch and emery, i opened up the books and sat down to write the rest of my essay. 3 sentences in and after a long quote, i ventured upstairs for a potential milk based food. dangerously i ran into my roomates again, who were about to watch the dark knight, fresh, virgin unwatched dvd out that day. 3 hours and wishes for crime fighting skills later, the essay was returned to. approximately 502ish words were added to the babble before a laundry buzzer interfered with the ferocious thoughts that were echoing off my fingers and into the computer screen. those words are dancing for me this time. BS will commence shortly, when information runs dry and motivation to succeed diminish into longings for sleep.
Academic Bulemia
The process of learning or memorizing by rote, subsequently followed by the regurgitation of that knowledge onto an exam answer sheet. Just as with the serious eating disorder, this form of bulemia results in no real retention of substance.
i got slapped in the face by the truth of this. i had been thinking this all day (since today was a final exam (and all mid term..s)) but i couldn't articulate it, and so urban dictionary did it for me. such truth. who the F is Joseph Kosuth? (if you can actually tell me without google or wiki then... props, you have my artisticalknowledgeable respect. (and maybe a popsicle if you come to ze goin away party)).
i am also writing and using the word genuine a lot. i asked U-DIC to tell me what awesomeness it could hold, but it was boring (motions hand very innapropriately and tosses off imaginary finishings.)
after an effective 2 hour time kill between coming home eating supper and chatting up my roomies, setting up a playlist including the shins, radiohead, dispatch and emery, i opened up the books and sat down to write the rest of my essay. 3 sentences in and after a long quote, i ventured upstairs for a potential milk based food. dangerously i ran into my roomates again, who were about to watch the dark knight, fresh, virgin unwatched dvd out that day. 3 hours and wishes for crime fighting skills later, the essay was returned to. approximately 502ish words were added to the babble before a laundry buzzer interfered with the ferocious thoughts that were echoing off my fingers and into the computer screen. those words are dancing for me this time. BS will commence shortly, when information runs dry and motivation to succeed diminish into longings for sleep.
Academic Bulemia
The process of learning or memorizing by rote, subsequently followed by the regurgitation of that knowledge onto an exam answer sheet. Just as with the serious eating disorder, this form of bulemia results in no real retention of substance.
i got slapped in the face by the truth of this. i had been thinking this all day (since today was a final exam (and all mid term..s)) but i couldn't articulate it, and so urban dictionary did it for me. such truth. who the F is Joseph Kosuth? (if you can actually tell me without google or wiki then... props, you have my artisticalknowledgeable respect. (and maybe a popsicle if you come to ze goin away party)).
i am also writing and using the word genuine a lot. i asked U-DIC to tell me what awesomeness it could hold, but it was boring (motions hand very innapropriately and tosses off imaginary finishings.)
Dec 6, 2008
won't you break free?
please yes lets. no structure or boundary can contain what we hold. not one consequence will damper the experience we will have. we cannot be owned, and we'll always have what we did as a reminder that we are free.
Dec 5, 2008
there are 129 other things i reaaaally should be doing.
i'd list them all, but that only conquer my boredom, and in the process create more boredom therefore throwing off the balance of the boredom spectrum to unstable (ly) boring. like... looking out a window on a not so snowy day at the boring grey sky with nothing happening boring.
i had an energy drink. it cranked me up. music couldn't be loud enough, and i didn't have the attention span to notice green lights or remember a balance to deposit into the bank 3 seconds after i looked at it. it was something i haven't experienced in months... a chemical imbalanced imposed upon myself so i wouldn't die whilst driving with sort of little sleep and at night with poor slippery road conditions.. it was well worth it. i sang so much i didn't notice my own voice creak and moan in protest to the volume i was projecting to keep up with the noise coming from my speakers.. my brain just wanted to melt into music and become one for a moment, and then ease back out of it only to be brought right back into it with another sonic blast of amazingness. i arrived early to my destination, but still to jacked up on green crap i ventured back out to run some errands, as sherwood park has become home 3 for me, since i come up often enough to know where the hockey rink is, the bank, starbucks, 2 second cups, mall and movie theatre, staples, home depot, (clearly i'm just listing observations i have about baseline now... game set match brain!) the point is i've become familiar with another place, an it now becomes less interesting because nothing new is expected. its just the way it is, and i live with it. detroit was vast and new and interesting once, but now you could drop me off (k not detroit, but the whiter, more grid like grosse pointe) anywhere an i could probably get back without thinking. not like thats all that hard to navigate if i know where north is, anywhere, but my man senses don't tingle anymore when i get 'lost' in sherparkwood. muha.ha. ha.
that makes me super excited to get to new zealand. brand spanking new. everything. continent, country, city, culture, another c word that i won't say because it has no relevance (and it is NOT dirty and it doesn't rhyme with punt. you flipping pervert you.) it was candle ok? new candle. flip yes. i'll get to explore.. get lost... soon enough it'll become 'home' and i'll know my way around, but i guess instead of getting frustrated that i'm now geographically one with a place i should appreciate knowing more than one place... i'm mapping out the world one place at a time in my head. the roads in between will take my places i won't remember, but i'll still know i travelled them.
then comes the crash and definitely no burn this time. far too much to look forward too and far too much cherishing to do. tucker has no hair anymore. i haven't seen the cat. nor the family... but their presence is here and it feels very much like home. family is everything, and if i didn't have it everywhere i go, i'd go nowhere and i'd go crazy. its not an obligation to see blood family, i thoroughly enjoy them. love them. would die for them. but its the new family that i create, get to know, learn to love that appeals to me so much. my roomates are my family. jef too jeff and everyone in between are family. if i've known someone long enough to gain trust and respect then they become family. nothing else matters! i'm feeling sentimental and feel for people who don't have the family i do.. i wish so badly that they did. i'll make sure i love my family for as long as i can.
Dec 1, 2008
my jug of water is 5/7 full
and the other 2? full of LIFE minusthefearofdriving36hoursalone... that will SUCK.
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