drugs are useless

unless its ginger! to calm your stomach! too bad i'm too stubborn to try medical means. myself likes to think i'm stronger if i let my immune system take care of it. as well as my fears won't allow me to throw up because of the hatredic nature of it, instead i sit an bear hours of unmoving pain when really it could be heaved in 34 seconds. but thats gross. eww indeed with nausia. i spelled it with a c in there earlier and earlier still i chose to not type it because i flat out didn't know. hours later and more accutely my brain concentrates on what matters and still it remains to be the cross on my wrist. sharpie it may be but truth it speaks and steers back into the middle of the road it takes me. this clearly still needs closure. acceptance is death, avoidance is death, but later. so much time but not nearly time enough to satisfy the slightest of urges in the littlest directions. but pressure aside it'll be nice to dive into whats known and the uppability of the pressure that is sure to reside in changing times and open lives. party over there whoo!