don't stick that judge on me.

i've been hit with crazy juice. seems passion sprouts creativity, but the kind that burns deep inside spreading seeds of angst instead of sewing the plants of comfort that i watered earlier. maybe that's what i needed though. i don't know if a movie has ever invoked such an impassioned response before, in a negative way. i won't way what movie, but it left me angry, unfulfilled and desperate for retribution and restitution... i can't say i liked the movie but i can't say i disliked it either for affecting me in this way. i guess 'taken' did it too. oh yay, liam neeson rescued his daughter, hooray hooray he murdered dozens and left 80 OTHER girls behind to their destruction. he's not superman, but there was no true redemption after being shown such an injustice. clearly i have just found the issue that sparks so much anger inside of me. injustice- cannot handle it. i can't shrug it off so i'll write it off. look it some of the amazing synonyms of passion:

agony
anger
DISTRESS
ecstasy
fervor
FIRE
FRENZY
FURY
heat
indignation
intensity
IRE
joy
misery
OUTBURST
rage
rapture
SPIRIT
temper
wrath

calm..... antonym.

before this movie happened to shit upon my happy creative mood, i was enjoying a fine and dandy prayer walk with 7 other metro mercy members... the spirit was with us and among us and in us, and we walked and talked and prayed. it was amazing. we came to a building that's not being used, that suits all of our needs as a church body. and RIGHT in the HEART of residential downtown. the perfect place to get integrated into a community and start spreading the love and igniting unity among any division. we prayed some more and on the window i was shown the most wonderful picture... (see previous post) what i feel God made me realize is that there are so many things we focus on and strive for, making our marks in the world through the crap that's been thrown on the window. it was amazing... beautiful dust graffiti with unreadable flawless design, names like voltron and gwen, all connected and graceful, and humbly off to the side was 'Jesus is Lord'; and though it may have been off to the side, it was connected and part of the rest. they were in each other and of each other and in that moment nothing seemed more right.

giant sigh.

hope restored, angst subdued... in these moments music can't get loud enough..