i don't know if that is the actual quote or not.. but it sure is how i feel. i'm in the midst of a maddeningly up and down roller coaster that changes tracks daily. it's super annoying and it makes me super neurotic. mental stability is a privilege, not a requirement apparently.
so here's what i can do. i can keep chipping away. i don't even know what i'm chipping at anymore. or what i'm imprisoned in, or what is on the other side. i could just stay in this spot, in the middle of a tunnel, and just lay here and die (dramatic much? though like i've heard and said before... if we're not growing, we're dying). i could crawl back the way i've came and find myself in the same place i desired to get out of before.
so here's what i WILL do. i don't have answers for myself. for you i could conjure up something fierce and specific and send you on your way. i can't do this for myself. i'm gonna go thataway -> the direction i hope i've been heading and hope that even this counts as a little meaningless whispered prayer that gets a loud resounding thunderous response. the enemy has chosen this as his weapon against me, and i must combat the darkness surging behind me and the emptiness leaking in around me with the motivation and hope that THIS is the way to go, that when i break through i'll have my moment of kneeling in shit while rejoicing in the glorious cleansing rain falling all around me.
and in the meantime i'll look at the most beautiful images like this and remember not to take life so seriously. thank you wonderful stranger. (and http://fuckyeahtattoos.tumblr.com/ for always providing such gold. best tattoo site yet)
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